50th High School Class Reunion

30 or 40 eighteen-year-old ghosts trapped in ravaged, aging bodies shuffling around the room desperately trying to recognize people you knew half a century ago. The time-honored tradition of name tags featuring photos from the high school yearbook was honored. So we smiled and shook hands and looked down at the kids we once were, unable to conceal the “what the fuck happened to you” horror.

We only lost 30 or so classmates (from a class of about 150) which is sort of amazing given that we all grew up eating nothing but fried food and breathing crop dusting chemicals and the toxic plume that was sprayed every summer night to battle the clouds of mosquitos.

I went with some trepidation (I went to the 10 year reunion but none after) but wound up enjoying myself. I can’t speak for others but the person looking out of my eyes was/is that 18 year old who went to school with all of the old people in the room, with their titanium knees and heart stints. I couldn’t see the old me they were seeing. I hope and assume it was the same for everyone.

No, what I thought would be a depressing shuffle down memory lane turned out okay. Maybe a little “survivor high” if there is such a thing. We made it! We’re still here! “Fuckin A!” as we said in 1966.

Jeff Wheeler (1942-2015)

Jeff Wheeler

Jeff Wheeler died last Friday. In 2002 a massive stroke left him unable to speak or walk and he spent the past 13 years in an assisted living facility in Kennett, MO.

When I applied for a job at KBOA in 1972, Jeff set me up in a studio with some copy and a tape recorder for my audition tape. I got the job and he showed me what I needed to know to work at a small town radio station. We worked together for most of the next dozen years.

I never met anyone who knew more about music. He built and maintained a huge record library (with double-entry card catalog) for the radio station. Like many in markets that size, Jeff did everything: DJ, news, sports, commercials, etc.

The stroke that took Jeff’s voice (and mobility) left his cognition in tact. He understood what other said to him, he just couldn’t respond.

A few weeks (?) after his stroke, Jeff’s wife died suddenly of cancer. That, my friends, is some Old Testament shit. I doubt anyone knows how Jeff really felt about the hand he was dealt ‘cause Jeff wasn’t talking. Never again.

His daughter and brother-in-law got in touch to see if I had any recordings of Jeff. Like a lot of radio guys, Jeff never got around to saving air checks and such because, well, he thought he’d always be working in radio.

I found an hour-long “History of KBOA” Jeff produced in 1976 and pulled out 4 minutes they played during his funeral. First time in 13 years anyone had heard Jeff’s voice. First time ever for a few, I suppose.

What you could hear in those few minutes was how much Jeff loved what he was doing. How much he liked talking on the radio. And you could hear how painful it must have been these last 13 years to be unable to utter a word.

But he’s back on the air now. Somewhere. Probably. Doing play-by-play, the county spelling bee, Trading Post, the Hometown News. Never sounded better.