Category Archives: Personal History

Forks in the road

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To paraphrase SNL character Chico Escuela, “Life has been berry, berry good to me!” When I look back — something I’m trying to do less — I can’t help noticing the nodes. Those forks in the road where I had to chose which path to take. From my current vantage point, it’s tempting too say I wouldn’t be where I am today (a good place) had I chosen the other path at any point along the way. Yes, I might be in a “better” place, but it would be a different place. I’ve mapped out some of those nodes below. (Click the image for larger map)
For reason’s I can’t recall, I tried out for the high school musical and got the lead part. In college I switched my major from business to theater when it looked like falling grades my cost me my draft deferment. When Nixon froze the lottery — and I was no longer in danger of getting drafted — I dropped out of law school and got a job with the U.S. Postal Inspection Service. I hated it and quit after a year and wound up working at a small town radio station.

On one of the nights I went to Tommy’s North End Cafe, I met my future wife (40+ years). She says it was the only time she had ever been there.

I burned out after ten years at the radio station and we moved to Albuquerque where I couldn’t get arrested. I went back to the radio station where Clyde Lear found me and brought me to work for his new company where I stayed for 29 years.

Like Harry Bosch, I don’t believe in coincidences. My life experience suggests there is a pattern to our individual realities. A process, intelligent beyond human understanding. As for those forks in the road, this from Random Walk by Lawrence Block:

“You did what you would have done, in a minute or in all eternity.”

Professional wrestling is returning to Kennett

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In the hierarchy of professional sports, professional wrestling is just below shooting rats at the town dump. But for some reason it was extremely popular where/when I grew up in the 50’s. Live coverage every Saturday morning by one of the Memphis TV stations. And these guys would take the show on the road, performing before packed houses. (I wrote about this ten years ago) And they’re back!

“Professional wrestling is returning to Kennett. Fall Brawl presented by American Hostile Championship Wrestling is slated to take place at the American Legion Building in Kennett Oct. 6. American Hostile Championship Wrestling owner Mark Manley said wrestlers scheduled to be on the six-fight card include: WWE Hall of Famer Koko B. Ware, Memphis Wrestling icon Superstar Bill Dundee, young up-comer Marko Stunt, the Missouri Bad Boys, Austin Lane, Meklakov, Naughty by Nature Rude and Kennett native J.T. Ice.”

Please note that Bill Dundee is now 74 years old.

UPDATE 10/9/18: Here’s the follow-up story on the “Fall Brawl” with accompanying photos. And just who are these small town fans of professional wrestling?

700 Days

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I started meditating in 2008 but didn’t make it a regular (daily) part of my life until November 30, 2014. At least that is the date I started keeping track. Since then — as noted here previously — I have missed just two days, for a total of 1,343 days on the cushion. Today’s practice was 700 days without missing.

I sit for either 30 minutes or 45 minutes depending on what’s going on. I am a firm believer in making meditation a daily part of one’s life, if only 10 minutes.

I hope to share “1,000 Days” with you next year.

Government Websites

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Logged in to my Medicare account recently to update password. They used to require an update every six months but got so many complaints they dropped that requirement. After half a dozen unsuccessful attempts to create a new PW I started a chat with a support person. She began by informing me the password guidelines on the Medicare.gov website are wrong. Why are they there if they are wrong? She had no idea and gave me some different guidelines:

1. You should create a NEW password that is 8 – 16 characters in length.
2. The password must not include # or &
3. Must include at least one letter, number and at least one special character such as (@) ($) (%) [but not at the end of the password!]
4. Cannot be the same as your username.

Additional guidelines: please do not follow the creation guidelines in the system at this time. You will need to use at least one capital letters, four numbers and a special character however; you may not use a number or symbols at the beginning or at the end of the password. An example of a good password would be “Home1234$Home.” Alternatively “Red2015$car” You will need to use a minimum of three numbers in the middle.

These didn’t work either so I wound up on the phone with a gentleman who explained these guidelines are not right either. (“Sorry about that. Ha ha!”) Wound up creating a new account with a really lame-ass password.

ME: “Should I change this from time to time?”
SUPPORT: “I wouldn’t.”

“Meditation is not about doing anything”

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“Meditation is not about doing anything. It is simply paying attention.”

Not counting basic hygiene (brushing my teeth, etc), the only thing I do every day is meditate. I sit for 30 minutes, sometimes longer. Every day for the last 500 days. I keep track but I’m not sure that’s good idea. Too easy to get fixated on the streak, keeping the string going.

I’ve missed twice in the last 1,000+ days. Once when I was sick and again when out of town attending a high school reunion (#50). I’m not sure why I keep track of my practice. Maybe it’s for the same reason prisoners make marks on their cell walls (do they still do that?). They’re afraid they’ll forget how long the’ve been in prison? I’d rather think I keep track because it gives me a little added encouragement to sit, although I really don’t think I need that anymore. My daily meditation is the best half hour of my day. But why?

Steve Hagen says meditation is useless. The only reason to meditate is to mediate. Which sounds like something only those who meditate would say or understand. I’m sure when I started (10 years ago?) it was for stress management or relaxation or something but somewhere along the way it became an end in itself.

I find it simultaneously the simplest thing in the world and the most difficult. I’m sitting on a cushion on the floor, focused on my breath. What could be easier? And within seconds my mind has jumped to some random thought… I gently bring my awareness back to my breathing… and the cycle repeats, endlessly. Why would anyone invest half an hour every day doing this? Again, Steve Hagen: “At the heart of meditation is the intention to be awake.”

Meditation Now or Never (PDF of favorite excerpts)

Meditation: 365 Days

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According to the app I use to track my meditation practice, today was the 365th consecutive day of sitting. Cool. One year with zero misses. Which means absolutely nothing other than I’ve been consistent in my practice. I started keeping track on November 30, 2014 and ran up a string of 371 days before missing a day (pneumonia). The next run — 271 days — ended while I was out of town attending my 50th high school reunion. Which might be the worst excuse imaginable. And now I’m less than a week away from beating that 371 string. Two days without meditating in the past 1,007 days.

The only day that counts, of course, is today. The app and keeping my streak alive give me a little extra incentive to sit every day but I don’t need much incentive these days. The time I spend in meditation is almost always the best part of my day.

Next milestone? 500 days.

Photo descriptions

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I’m still thinking about photos. Specifically, the story behind photos. The ease of taking, sharing and storing photos has created a tsunami of digital photos. The moment (and the photo that captures it) passes through our hands so quickly, there’s no time to consider the story behind the photo (if there is one). Besides, I know who’s in the photo and where it was taken and I’ll be around forever so why bother with descriptions and such. And there’s something to that. I have dozens of photos of the beach near our place in Destin, FL. There might be a story but there might not. Sometimes the photo IS the story.

Our relationship with photos was very different when cameras used film. Days (weeks?) might pass between the time you took the photo and and when you held the print in your hands. It took some commitment to sit down with a stack of photos and make notes on the back about the people, the place, the event. Perhaps it comes down to who the photo is for. If it’s just for me, well, I know all that and when I’m gone, who cares. If you think of the photo as having a life longer than yours, the back story is priceless.

The photo of my mother and father kissing on a park bench (on their honeymoon) is a good example. What if my mom had written a few lines (on the back) describing where they were and what they had been doing?

I’m not going to write descriptions for the 1,900 photos in my collection. At least not all of them. But I have hit on a way to connect to the story behind the photos. My blog. I’ve been blogging for fifteen years and and have written (and tagged) 30 posts about Destin. I’ve added a link to those posts to the descriptions of the photos in my collection. I have a couple of hundred photos of KBOA and I’ll add http://www.kboa830.com to the description field of those photos. And so on. (If you’re a half-empty type, you’re thinking, “Yeah, but your blog will be gone when you die.” I’m working on that.)

This is all well and good if you’re retired with lots of time to manage your photos. True. But I think the case can be made that a photo that’s not worthy of a brief description might not be worth keeping. And a lot of them aren’t, in my opinion. Folks are fire-hosing photos to the cloud with little or no thought. Google Photos is an attempt to address this.

“Meditation is awareness”

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I have some bad habits and a couple of good ones. Perhaps my best habit is daily mindfulness meditation. I sit on a cushion for 30 minutes (sometimes as long as an hour) and concentrate on my breathing. That’s it. That’s my meditation practice. It’s the best half hour of my day.

And I haven’t missed a day for the last 271 days, tying previous record. My longest streak is 371 days. I’ve been practicing meditation for years but didn’t start keeping track of my sessions until November, 2014, when I started using an app called Equanimity. It times my session and keeps a simple log.

That first streak (371 days) was broken due to a bout with pneumonia. I started over and made it 271 days before I missed while out of town at my 50th high school reunion. So now I’ve set my sights on 371. If I can make it to September without missing a day, I’ve not a new streak. And I will have only missed two days in the last 1,000.

I can’t control the quality of my meditation sessions but I do have control over whether or not I sit every day. Which is important to me.

Title quote from Meditation Now or Never by Steve Hagen