“Dentists are generally pretty smart and they have the highest suicide rate of any profession. In stark contrast, dogs are goofy and they always look happy. You almost never hear about a dog trying to shoot himself. I know you want me to make a joke along the lines of “Dentists would be happy too if they could lick themselves.” But this is a serious discussion and I won’t have it. Plus that’s why dentists have office assistants.”
— Scott Adams
Scott Adams finds it interesting that the guy with the best job in the world gets to blow up the guy with the worst job in the world.
“I have to think that the guy who fired the rocket by remote control loves his job. I have an image of him sitting in an air conditioned headquarters someplace, feet up on the desk, a bag of Cheetohs on one side, a Budweiser on the other, staring at his computer screen. It’s about 1 am and everyone else is asleep. The order comes through on e-mail saying something like “Blow up mud hut #4,7855.” So he takes a break from playing Doom and plugs that number into the GPS system and soon his drone is hovering over said mud hut, missiles ready to go.”
Let’s add Scott Adams to the short list of people I’d like to drink beer with after work.
Like Dilbert, I routinely delete any email that has a subject of: Urgent, Hey!, Yo! Stuff. If you don’t care enough to provide a useful subject line, I don’t care enough to open your email.
Needed some help with a Linksys router last week and wound up talking to a lady in Punjab or Kandahar or some such place. I could live with the 5 second delay on the satellite/phone hook-up but her English was just slightly better than my Punjabie.
Gave up on the Linksys router and purchased one by Netgear. I found myself reading the back of the box to see if there was any mention of where their tech support folks are located. I think that would be a strong selling feature. I’d pay more for a product if I knew I’d be speaking to someone in the U.S.A.
Applicant: How do you reward your top performers?
The Boss: I keep increasing their workloads until their performances become average.
Applicant: So…why would anyone try to excel?
The Boss: I use only the finest motivational posters.