Young Tommy Edison’s devoted mother … could not have known that a chance encounter with a street vendor in Cincinnati, where she had taken Tommy to attend an ELO concert, would spark a 70-year love affair with the golden, spreadable goodness that would spur her son to greatness.

David is blogging from a different place than you and I.

I stand by my earlier assertion that my friend David is too funny for his job. Offered as Exhibit A, this excerpt from his recent post exposing the role of Squirt Cheese in the founding of this great country:

Jefferson was not only a deep thinker and philosopher, but also an inventor of the first order. Having developed a more effective plow, and the color now known as Yellow No. 5, Jefferson turned his attention to the culinary arts. During late nights at Monticello, discussing politics in his hemp laboratory with George Washington, Jefferson experienced what modern readers would call “the munchies.” Washington, unable to chew effectively with his wooden teeth, implored his friend to invent a softened snack. Jefferson turned his considerable talent toward solving that problem, and soon invented a whipped cheese product that he stored in wooden bottles. A pump mechanism forced the cheese out the top of the bottle, allowing it to be applied to breads, crackers, and pemmican.

If you need further evidence of David’s genius, I offer this: Of the nearly 25 million blogs crawled by Technorati, only 217 include a reference to pemmican. I rest my case.

In June of 2003, I posted a short list of “Blogs I Would Read If They Existed.” Leaving David Brazeal off that list was an oversight but David is easy to oversee. Not unlike Topsy. Tonight I am honored to be among the first to link to David’s new blog, SquirtCheez.

SquirtCheez has a long and illustrious history as a metaphor for the human experience. Homer called it the “nectar of fat and happy Olympian consumerism.” American colonial preacher Jonathan Edwards, in his most famous sermon, noted that SquirtCheez is the only source of sustenance that will explode upon being thrown into the flames of hell.

It’s totally unfair of me to put this kind of pressure on David and I will look like a total dumb-ass if he screws the pooch on this. But gosh darn it, I’m willing to risk it. Because David is part of that tiny, select group I refer to as: TFFTJ (Too Funny for Their Jobs). Please welcome him to the ‘sphere.