I met Mark Cuban –briefly– during the early days of Audio.net (which later became Broadcast.com). He met us at a Kansas City hotel to pitch us on the idea of letting him stream some of our sports broadcasts. We did a deal — not a very good one– but passed up a chance to purchase 10% of his fledgling company. I came away thinking he was too slick by half. But he sure had balls and a lot of confidence and now he has billions and an NBA team. And, as Doc Searls points out, Cuban is fearless. Check out what he told Kurt Hanson about the Yahoo/RIAA deal he put together before leaving Yahoo.
Telemarketers
Douglas Rushkoff is a best-selling author (Ecstasy Club and Exit Strategy, among others) which I would have thought somehow insulated him from annoying telemarketing calls. Guess not. He says he used to get rid of them by shouting, “I’m bleeding!” and hanging up. He has a new technique I can’t wait to try.
I confess to being a little nuts on the subject. I once told a telemarketer that I had just caught my wife and next door neighber in bed and had to hang up so I could kill them both. “Don’t do it, buddy. They’re not worth it. Believe me, I know,” pleaded the telemarketer.
While returning from a neighbor’s house later that evening, I passed sheriff’s deputy going the other way. Seems the telemarketer had gone a little beyond his prepared script and called the law.
I once asked the telemarketer if his mother knew what he was doing? “Yes, she’s very proud of me,” he insisted. “No, she’s not,” I explained. “She’s mortified by what you do but doesn’t love you enough to tell you the truth.” A supervisor came on the line and chewed my ass for abusing her guy. “See what you’ve come to?” I told the young man… “your supervisor loves you more than your own mother.”
500 Walter Street
I sold the family home this week. Not really a home for the last few years, but the place my brother and I grew up. I actually remember some of the places we lived before Evelyn persuaded John it made more sense to own than rent. I think they paid about $5,000 for the house back in the early 50’s. Probably paid $50 a month for 30 years. Evelyn had our trash guy plant a couple of little sycamore trees and they grew to 70 foot monsters before John had cut down because he got tired of “having leaves all over the yard.” Evelyn was gone by then.
50 years at 500 Walter Street boiled down to set of mis-matched golf clubs; a box of trophies (Blane’s); some really heavy high school year books; a set of 78 RPM records from the 40’s; a couple of pounds of mold and mildew; and a lifetime of memories. Everyone kept asking me if it was difficult to sell the house in which our family had lived all those years. I said no and that was more true than not. But for two days I kept hearing Peter, Paul and Mary singing The House Song.
This room here once had childish laughter
And I come back to hear it now and again
I can’t say that I’m certain what you’re after
But in this room, a part of you will remain.
The Life Expectancy Calculator
Have we talked about Carol yet? Some years ago Carol started greeting friends she had not seen in a while with the number of months (actuarially speaking) they could expect to live. “Steve, how have you been? You’ve got more than 300 months left, that’s great!” According to the IRS Life Expectancy Table , I have 29.5 years left but that sounds much longer than 360 months. You’d think Carol would have few visitors but she shares her macabre calculations with such warmth and enthusiasm, it’s not as depressing as you’d think. I think it’s because she never expected any of us to get this far.
If you’d rather not travel to Kennett, Missouri, to find out how much time you have left, you can find what you need online. The Life Expectancy Calculator will “calculate your future life expectancy based on a mortality table for retired individuals.” Less, I would think. The Living to 100 Life Expectancy Calculator was designed to “translate what we have learned from studies of centenarians and other longevity research into a practical and empowering tool for individuals to estimate their longevity potential.” Roy said it best in Blade Runner. I need more.
Pants on backward
In July of 1972 I got a job working at the local radio station. Jeff Wheeler showed me how to clear the AP wire. How to cue up a 45. How to watch the clock and read and do something with my hands, all at the same time. I worked with Jeff for about a dozen years and I never heard him raise his voice. One day while I was reading a newscast, he walked into the studio with his bright red golf pants on backward. He didn’t jump around or say anything. He patiently waited until I noticed the zipper in the back. End of newscast. Jeff is still doing radio but these are not good times for him. I’m remembering –and looking forward to– better days.