Category Archives: Personal History

“We’re hearing that a lot.”

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The following telephone conversation took place earlier today:

Caller: “Hi, this is Kevin with Dell and I’m calling about your Dell Dimension 100. Your three year warranty expries this month and I’m calling to see if you’d like to renew… and tell you about some of our special offers.”

smays: “Uh, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you, Kevin.”

Caller: “You’ve switched to Mac.”

smays: (surprised) “Yeah, I have. Uh, how’d you know?”

Caller: “People always say, ‘We’ve got bad news…’ just before they tell us they’ve switched.”

Back to Niketown

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Nike'sExcept they don’t call it Niketown anymore. It’s now “NIKE iD” but you can still design your own sneakers. I still get compliments on the kicks I designed a couple of years ago but, every now and again someone will ask “…but why’d you get the old person style?”

So I tried for a little more “street” this time around. I’m gonna strap these babies on with my Tactical 5.11’s, buy me a case of Krylon and go nuts.

Email Dumb Storm

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Earlier this month I ranted about the mindless, clueless use of the REPLY ALL button. We’re currently experiencing one of these Dumb Storms. The following exchange has been shared with 80+ people in our office. (Yes, I do understand that some of the recipients find this witty exchange delightful.) I’m posting in reverse order to make this (on-going) thread easier to read. This is the work email equivalent of Open Mic Night at the Comedy Club. And you’re chained to your chair.

“Word has already been passed back to Learfield from I-70 that the troopers are out in full force, so be careful and watch out”

“Watch out now… my son is a trooper

“We love your son, but would like to interact with him in a more informal manner.”

“I really think it would be a great idea if police officers were put to work protecting people from murder, rape, and other vicious attacks … instead of being used by the state, counties, cities, and towns as men and women in uniform who main duty is to generate revenue. I’d wager they would probably prefer to be fighting crime than ticketing someone who has the audacity to drive at 65 MPH in a 60 MPH zone on I-70 in St. Louis County. How dare anyone drive at such an “unreasonable” speed on what is, at that point in the highway, an 8-late thoroughfare!”

“Thank your son for performing his duty. Many people have died at the hands of wreckless drivers who thought they were doing nothing wrong until it was too late.”

“I second that!!”

“Me thinks (name) is a bit cranky.”

“Maybe he got a ticket on the way to work???

“Well if he did, at least it wasn’t me this time!!

iDVD

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[Mac shields up!] I created my first DVD last night, using iDVD that ships with OS X. Now, I’ve burned files to DVD’s before but iDVD makes it fun and easy to create a more finished product. Pick a theme, drag over your video from iMovie, your still images form iPhoto, pull some music over from iTunes… hit the burn button and you’re done.

iDVD

This first effort looks like it. But the next one will be better. I haven’t done much with DVD’s because it seemed like a cumbersome way to share media. But this was fun and the resulting DVD looks pretty snazzy.

flickr back on top

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I’ve been using flickr for a long time. I fell out of love for a bit after Yahoo! acquired the service and the conversion didn’t go as smoothly as it might. But I’ve been making an effort to better understand and use flickr’s many, wonderful features.

Flickr Map is hardly new but I just never got around to playing with it until last night. The short version is, you can locate a photo on a map to show precisely where sit was taken.

For example, during my affiliate relations days in Iowa, I stopped by the farm where the movie Field of Dreams was filmed. I knew the farm was near Dyersville, Iowa, but couldn’t remember the exact location. So I checked Wikipedia and found the exact latitude/longitude. Plugged that into Flickr Maps and, voila! And I was able to zoom in close enough to see the shape of the ball diamond.

I now have about 500 photos in my Flickr account. Unfortunately, when I started saving digital images, I foolishly sized the images down (to save space). So my rez is poor on those older images. Alas.

But the organization tools on Flickr are pretty amazing. And –you knew this was coming– it works so nicely with iPhoto that uploading images is even easier than before.

Riding the Email Short Bus (NRN)

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Email from Bill to Mary and 5 others on their project team:

“The meeting has been moved back to 10 a.m. on Friday”

Mary replies, “I’ll bring donuts,” and –of course- hits the REPLY ALL button.

Team member Mike cleverly chimes in (with REPLY ALL): “Make my chocolate!”

To which team member Betty responds, “I’m on a diet.” Again, REPLY ALL.

Team member smays (screaming at the top of his lungs!) REPLY ALL:

“I don’t have time to be part of your witty banter. My in-box if filled to overflowing. Chat amongst yourselves if you have the time (and it appears you do), but don’t include me with your clueless REPLY ALL to every dumb-ass email that comes your way. I’m sorry, I just don’t care. And –believe it or not– the only people that do, are the other morons keeping this inane ping-pong match going.”

NRNAnd while I’m on the subject, you don’t need to thank me every time I send you an email. I know you are grateful. I won’t think less of you if I don’t get a “Thanks!” reply to… every… email… I send. In fact, my opinion of you will jump up a few notches.

Let’s try this. If you see “NTN” (No Thanks Necessary) or “NRN” (No Reply Necessary) in the subject line of the email I send to you… you don’t have to thank me or reply. You just saved us both a few precious seconds.

I would open the comments on this post but I know many of you would not be able to resist saying, “Thanks!”

“Science Fiction Punk Psychedelia”

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“I google-image searched “Hippy Witch” and came across this picture. I think it’s a fantastic image!!

Halloween 1974

Anyway, I’m a musician and I wanted to use it as the sleeve for a single I’m doing for a label called “HoZac.” The name of my “band” is Blank Dogs, it’s a home-recording thing and this picture fits the sound perfect. I guess I’d describe it as “Science Fiction Punk Psychedelia.”

It wouldn’t be used ironically, or poked fun at, I just think it’s a super-great photo and I was wondering if I could get your permission to use it. It’s an indie label and they wouldn’t be able to pay anything for it’s use, but maybe you think it’d be cool!”

Running after the Cluetrain

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I spent a lot of energy in the late 90’s trying to convince people I worked with (and anyone I could get to listen) the Internet was a force to be reckoned with. Something that would touch and change every part of our lives and our business. There was plenty of eye-rolling and rib-nudging. Then, one day, I didn’t have to say another word. Anyone with a functioning cortex understood the Internet wasn’t just happening… it had happened.

Five years ago I started blogging and, a couple of years later, listening to podcasts. Again, I tugged at a few sleeves and suggested these tools would be/could be/should be part of what we do. The reactions were very similar.

As I swill Rocket Fuel and surf away another Saturday morning, I come across story after story about how people, company organizations are blogging and podcasting. Out of habit, I started to forward these to those who would (or should) want to know…and I stopped.

No need. If you don’t get it by now, you won’t. I’ll continue to post on these topics (until even that seems pointless), but I won’t spend every evening tip-toeing up and down the hall, sliding these links under co-worker’s doors.

Whew. Glad that’s over.

Sheryl Crow Yard Sale

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What’s a pop star do with clothing and costumes she can no longer wear? Goodwill? Salvation Army? Sheryl Crow sends hers home to Kennett where they wind up in a tiny room on the second floor of what was once the Cotton Exchange Bank. It’s now “The Bank,” an antique shop run by Mary Jo Byrd. She sells Ms. Crow’s duds and the proceeds go to the Delta Children’s Home. I did make a purchase and will post on that later.

No pictures! No pictures!

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Hy-Vee DeliMy favorite Hy-Vee Supermarket reopened today after a year-long renovation and expansion. I stopped by to get some lunch from the deli (where I get 90% of my hot meals) and took a photo. I would have taken more but one of the corporate neckties came running over to tell me I couldn’t take photos. You can see half of him in this picture.

“It’s okay,” I told him, “I’m a regular. My wife’s out of town on business and couldn’t be here so I’m gonna send her a photo.”

“There will be ‘approved photos’ in the local newspaper. I have no way of knowing what you’re going to do with any pictures.”

I’m sure that…let’s call him “Phil”…Phil has every legal right to tell me I can’t take a photo in his new store. Underlying his panic at the sight of my little Casio, however, is his lack of trust in a customer. He assumed I’d do something nefarious, like race down to Gerbe’s (a competing store)…

smays: (Pant, gasp) “I’ got ’em! I got ’em! Photos of the new deli at Hy-Vee!”
Gerbe’s Store Manger: “Quick, let’s see ’em. We’ve got to plan our strategy!”

As I was checking out, one of the local Hy-Vee guys came over to ask what was going on and I explained.

“What?! (exasperated sound) He’ll be gone tomorrow. You can come back and take as many photos as you like.”

Trust.

So, “Phil,” this post is for you. I’m thrilled to have a bigger, newer, better Hy-Vee and plan to spend even more time and money in your great store. Give my best to the guys in marketing and public relations.