Author Archives: Steve Mays

Why the asterisk is “The Most Obscene Letter”

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“Naked naughty words can destroy your brain and also society as a whole. However – and one would think this is obvious – It’s completely safe to THINK naughty words. And it’s safe to cause other people to think naughty words. But if you spell those naughty words without the asterisk loin cloth to protect your victims, you’re a danger to society. I know this to be true because I heard it from lots of people who have sh*t-for-brains.”

— Scott Adams explains why the asterisk is “The Most Obscene Letter”

When I write “WTF”… the little voice in your head says “What the fuck?” If I type “*ss hole,” you hear “ass hole.” But they’re just words. They can’t really hurt you. If you don’t believe me, read Adam’s post.

Mike Neely: 1948-2006

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Mike Neely died last week. I’m not sure about the date or just how he died. I’m told his health had not been good in recent years. I spoke with his mother, Myra, tonight and she said Mike and his family had visited in September. His death was “not real” to her yet.

Mike NeelyMike lived next door and we were best buds all through grade school. His family moved to California about the time we were starting high school. I think he did a couple of years of junior college before enlisting in the air force and serving in Thailand. After his discharge he moved back to Kennett and attended college at Arkansas State where he got an accounting degree. He went to work for some big accounting firm (Frost?) and they sent him to St. Thomas, VI. He and Jeanine have been there ever since.

Many of my best childhood memories include Mike. He was something of a golden boy. Great at all sports. Popular. He was a good kid. (He’s on the left in the photo above)

Mike and I could always make each other laugh. I’m talking about hysterical, gasping, tears-streaming-down-your-cheeks, can’t-get-your-breath laughter that literally leaves you rolling on the floor.

We didn’t keep in touch in recent years, as is often the case with childhood friends. I regret that. I might never laugh that hard again.

Mike and his wife, Jeanine, have two sons, Luke and Jake.

Do you have your cover story ready?

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“The Rev. Ted Haggard, who has resigned as one of the nation’s top evangelical leaders, admitted Friday he had contacted a male prostitute for a massage and bought methamphetamine.

“I was buying it for me, but I never used it,” said Haggard, 50, sitting in the driver’s seat of a car with his wife, Gayle, at his side during an impromptu interview with CNN Denver affiliate KUSA-TV.

“I never kept it very long because it was wrong. I was tempted. I bought it. But I never used it.” Haggard also acknowledged contacting Mike Jones but has denied Jones’ accusation that the two men regularly had sex over three years.” — CNN

I bought the meth but didn’t use it. I knew the gay prostitute but we never had sex. He just gave me a massage.

As all naughty children know, before you do something you shouldn’t, get your “what-if-I-get-caught” story ready. You might want to try in on a friend to see how it flies.

Should Google buy Clear Channel?

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Article in AdAge briefly explores that question. The phrase that jumped out of the story at me was, “automated sale of remnant ads.”

“Right now, through Google’s year-ago acquisition of dMarc, a radio systems company, it has been able to create an automated way to sell what is mostly remnant radio inventory, which remains unsold until the last minute. But, noted Mr. Bank, Google Audio is making several high-profile hires in the radio sales field in major radio markets. Now why, if Google Audio’s selling of remnant ad time is so automated, would there need to be so many high-priced radio ad sales folks.”

I’m pretty sure a big chunk of my salary for the past 20 years has come from acquiring and selling “remnant radio inventory.” Should companies that trade services for commercials on radio stations (we call it barter) be concerned about this? My guess is most station managers would rather have cash for his unsold commercials.

The Google-Clear Channel idea is an interesting one. CC has lot of stations and Google has figured some things out about advertising.

When your company screws up, don’t hide it. Blog it.

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In one of Clyde Lear’s early blog posts, he talks about a mistake our company made some years ago. No weasly words, just “we shouldn’t have done that.”

I flashed on Clyde’s post as I read this article by David H. Freedman at Inc.com:

Many corporate blogs are sanitized, public-relations-oriented affairs intended to create bonds with existing and potential customers. Others serve as internal message boards to keep employees up to date. But I’m proposing something else: a blog that encourages employees and managers to tell their peers what they themselves have done wrong. It’s an easy step that could quickly effect a large, positive change in your corporate culture.

Real Lawyers Have Blogs

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That’s the name of Kevin O’Keefe’s blog. He chatted with me today about blogging and lawyers and I could kick myself for not asking how he came up with “Real Lawyers Have Blogs.”

The blog is part of LexBlog, a consulting company that helps lawyers with Internet marketing and business development puts a strong emphasis on blogging.

Kevin was a trial lawyer for 17 years but stopped practicing in 1999 and founded an “online law community” called Prairielaw.com (which was later acquired by LexisNexis).

Kevin is my kind of blogger. He thinks every business should be blogging and says all lawyers will have blogs by the end of the decade (even though less than 1% of attorneys currently have blogs).

LexBlog has created some really nice looking blogs for their clients. These are some of the best looking websites I’ve seen and they got all the blog tools and features.

Kevin pooh-poohed my suggestion that blogging was difficult for some people. They either hadn’t found the right tools or weren’t ready to blog (yet). He’s right of course.

(audio no longer available)

After listening to Kevin for a few minutes and looking at and reading the blogs of some of his clients… I can’t imagine why every lawyer isn’t blogging. I guess the real ones are.

iPods replacing huge 3-ring binders?

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Kevin O’Keefe (Real Lawyers Have Blogs) points to an interesting article about benefit managers putting content, such as benefits and wellness updates and bonus guidelines, online without always going through IT. The benefits department can easily become a news publisher of compensation and benefits information.

Pleased to say that we’ve been doing that at Learfield for some time now.

Kevin also reports at least one of his clients giving iPods to employees so as to keep employees abreast of company human resources matters and training materials. The iPods come preloaded with relevant content with updates streamed to employees via the net.

Now, that is a wired company.

You never hear the bullet that gets you

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Chronic worriers are often reassured with, “90% of the things you worry about never happen.”

Let’s deal with the math first. Chronic worriers can come up with 100 things to worry about without breaking a sweat. So you’re telling us ten of them will probably come to pass. No good. Our first thought will be, “They’ll be the worst ten things!”

No, even if you improve our odds to 99%, you’ve simply encouraged us to focus all of our negative thoughts on that one item. Sort of a Hubble Telescope of Anxiety.

If you want to reassure us, remind us that conventional wisdom says we never hear the bullet that finally gets us.

We know –looking back– that most of the things we worried about did NOT happen. The really bad shit that happens in life is almost always totally unexpected. Out of the blue (or black, if you prefer). Didn’t see it coming at all.

See where I’m headed?

The very fact that you are worried about something almost guarantees that it won’t happen. It’s like a Worry Force Field.

  • Worried about your mid-term grades? (Your girl friend’s pregnant)
  • Anxious about the lab tests? (A 14 point Buck will jump in front of your Tercel)
  • Dreading a terrorist attack? (You’ll be safe inside one of Bush’s internment camps)

The more things you’re worried about…the less you have to worry about. Got it?