Tag Archives: Scott Adams

Scott Adams: Ask my opinion

Posted on by

Scott Adams recently invited readers to “ask for my opinion on any topic and I will give it to you in the clearest possible terms (as many as I can get to).” They did and he did. And I found myself agreeing with about 98% of his answers.  A few of my favorites:

Q. Who, out of any person, would do the best job of dictator with total control of the world, and please give a real response.
A. Bill Gates. He’s rational, experienced, and has a good track record of helping the disadvantaged through his charitable trusts.

Q. Can you give an easy solution for all the Middle East problems, including but not limited to ethnic issues, religious issues, corruption issues, oil issues, nuclear issues, and last but not least, the poor history of this region in the soccer world cup?
A. There is no solution. But I often wonder what would happen if we surrendered, apologized for interfering in the region, and withdrew all financial and military support for everyone including Israel. I think Israel would survive just fine, countries would still sell us plenty of oil, and our enemies would get busy killing each other. We learned from the Cold War that enemies really do need a reason to want to kill you. It’s not for entertainment.

Q. Most futuristic thing you wish would be invented now?
A. Orgasm ray gun.

On being normal

Posted on by

“…learned that the people in front of me are going at their own speed, probably for a reason. They’re not trying to get in my way as I rush past. I need to stay out of theirs. And I need to be grateful that I can rush past again. I need to appreciate normal.”

— Jeff Jarvis

“…so freaking happy I can’t even describe it. And when I speak to a packed ballroom, like today, I feel reborn. It is pure joy, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Every day feels like a gift now. And that, my friends, is the rarest neurological disorder of them all.”

— Scott Adams

Advice for new graduates from Scott Adams

Posted on by
Reply
  • Teamwork is what you call it when you trick other people into ignoring their priorities in favor of yours.
  • Leadership is a form of evil. No one needs to lead you to do something that is obviously good for you.
  • Business success is mostly about waiting for something lucky to happen and then taking credit.
  • Preparing a Powerpoint presentation will give you the sweet, sweet illusion of productivity.

I also kind of liked one of the commnets: “Unprofessional” and “passionate” is the same thing.

U. S. Founding Fathers

Posted on by

Scott Adams insists we must look at the the actions of our Founding Fathers in order to understand their ideals:

1. Slavery – excellent source of poontang
2. Women voting? That’s crazy talk!
3. People who don’t own land suck
4. A good way to change tax policy is through violence
5. It’s not really crossdressing if you also wear manly boots.
6. Treason is okay if you have a good reason.
7. No one wants to sit next to Ben Franklin

Like Adams, I’m glad they did the whole create-a-new-country thing… just don’t go nuts with the “this country was founded on sacred ideals put forth by our Founding Fathers” riff. They were a practical lot.

Scott Adams: Intelligence, god, dogs and dentists

Posted on by

“Dentists are generally pretty smart and they have the highest suicide rate of any profession. In stark contrast, dogs are goofy and they always look happy. You almost never hear about a dog trying to shoot himself. I know you want me to make a joke along the lines of “Dentists would be happy too if they could lick themselves.” But this is a serious discussion and I won’t have it. Plus that’s why dentists have office assistants.”

— Scott Adams

Scott Adams on Best and Worst Jobs

Posted on by
Reply

Scott Adams finds it interesting that the guy with the best job in the world gets to blow up the guy with the worst job in the world.

“I have to think that the guy who fired the rocket by remote control loves his job. I have an image of him sitting in an air conditioned headquarters someplace, feet up on the desk, a bag of Cheetohs on one side, a Budweiser on the other, staring at his computer screen. It’s about 1 am and everyone else is asleep. The order comes through on e-mail saying something like “Blow up mud hut #4,7855.” So he takes a break from playing Doom and plugs that number into the GPS system and soon his drone is hovering over said mud hut, missiles ready to go.”

Let’s add Scott Adams to the short list of people I’d like to drink beer with after work.

We’ve moved our call centers to Elbonia

Posted on by

Needed some help with a Linksys router last week and wound up talking to a lady in Punjab or Kandahar or some such place. I could live with the 5 second delay on the satellite/phone hook-up but her English was just slightly better than my Punjabie.

Gave up on the Linksys router and purchased one by Netgear. I found myself reading the back of the box to see if there was any mention of where their tech support folks are located. I think that would be a strong selling feature. I’d pay more for a product if I knew I’d be speaking to someone in the U.S.A.