“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Arianna Huffington on Tuesday night’s speeches:

“As luck, and poor scheduling, would have it, Barack Obama and John McCain gave their Super Tuesday victory speeches at roughly the same time last night, causing cable news directors across the dial to go split-screen, then finally jump from the tail end of McCain’s speech to the first part of Obama’s.

The overlapping oratories could not have been more dramatically different. One soared; the other plodded. One caused goose bumps; the other caused eyelids to flutter shut. One felt newly minted; the other could have been given by Herbert Hoover (and maybe was).

For some reason, I kept picturing a singer like Perry Como standing in the wings during the old Ed Sullivan show, watching the Beatles hit the stage, and thinking: “What do I do now?” or “Oh. My. God.” or “The world just changed, didn’t it?” or “Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

What are you in for?

A Wisconsin man convicted of beating his wife to death and forcing part of an Easter bunny-shaped dish down her throat was sentenced Tuesday to life in prison without a chance at early release.

Patrick Zurkowski has maintained all along that he killed his wife June in self-defense after she came after him with a paring knife. He asked the court to “let him go” during a sentencing hearing, saying there’s no need for him to sit in jail for the rest of his life. [Wisconsin Radio Network/WSAU]

This reminds me of the story about the guy that tried to kill his wife (girlfriend?) by shoving her cell phone down her throat. His defense was she tried to swallow the phone to keep him from seeing who she’d been talking to. I thought I posted it but can’t locate.

Gabe and Max’s Internet Thing

Gabe and Max explain “How to get the Dream Life of Your Dreams Using the Internet.” This is the kind of amateur video that Hollywood should be very concerned about. This is bone dry humor of the first order. Fax us your email address now! [Thanks, David]