House-training a new puppy builds character. Like computers, this experience teaches patience. While Lucy is not fully house-broken, she’s well on the way. Sleeping through the night tolerated by Ripley (our other Golden). Next weekend I solo when Barb goes on firm retreat.
I don’t like kids
I don’t like kids. There. I said it. Some people don’t like dogs or cats… I don’t like kids. No need to get into all the reasons because it doesn’t matter. This is a very socially unacceptable view but I suspect there are others who secretly share it. People with children must pretend they like your children so you will feel obligated to pretend you like theirs. As you might have guessed, I don’t have children. And, I have been told countless times: “If you had children of your own, you’d feel differently.” I think that’s probably true.
I have this theory that all parents undergo a molecular change the moment their children are born. This change in brain chemistry is what keeps them from murdering the little darlings in the first few months. Yes, I know I was a child once. That only supports my position. I’m willing to admit this is a serious flaw in my character and I’ll work on it. And you can help me. When little Brad is screaming at the top of his lungs in the restaurant, take him outside. Or home. Don’t bring Tiffanie to the Lord of the Rings unless she’s old enough or well behaved enough to watch it quietly. If not, spring for a baby-sitter.
I’m happy to pay property taxes to help educate America’s children. Your job is to try to keep them from turning into drug dealers, priests, politicians and other dangerous adults. If you succeed in rearing a decent human being, send them around. I’d love to meet them.
Eastern Standard Time
“In the end, everyone ends up with the people that are most like them that they can find.”– Eastern Standard Tribe (pg.110), Cory Doctorow
New XM channel?
In a post titled The Death of Broadcast, Jeff Jarvis writes about Howard Stern, broadcast radio and government regulation and where it’s all headed:
– Stern will engineer his firing from Viacom.
– Stern will sign with satellite, giving satellite the boost it needs to become a viable business.
– Buy satellite stock now. Sell radio stock now.
– Broadcast radio will quickly falter, losing attention to MP3s, satellite, and cellular broadcast. Broadcast radio will die. Consolidation won’t kill it. Censorship will.
– Satellite will grow rapidly, getting more consumer revenue and ad revenue.
– Broadcast TV will suffer similar blows.
– Cable and satellite TV will grow.
– The bottom line: Any medium that can be government-regulated will shrink; any medium free of government regulation will grow.
Andy Rooney on the Passion Of The Christ
It doesn’t seem right, but religion has been in the news a lot recently.
Pat Robertson says that God has spoken to him and told him that George W. Bush will be re-elected because he deserves to be.
Here’s Pat Robertson’s exact quote: “I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I’m hearing from the Lord that it’s going to be a blowout.”
The movie by Mel Gibson called The Passion of the Christ is the other religious issue in the news. Everyone’s talking about that. The question is whether the Jews killed Jesus Christ – who was Jewish, of course.
I hadn’t wanted to say anything about this, because it seemed like a personal matter, but Pat Robertson isn’t the only one who has heard from God.
I heard from God just the other night. God always seems to call at night. “Andrew,” God said to me. He always calls me “Andrew.” I like that.
“Andrew, you have the eyes and ears of a lot of people. I wish you’d tell your viewers that both Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson strike me as wackos. I believe that’s one of your current words. They’re crazy as bedbugs, another earthly expression. I created bedbugs. I’ll tell you, they’re no crazier than people, said God.
“Let me just say that I think I’d remember if I’d ever talked to Pat Robertson, and I’d remember if I said Bush would get re-elected in a blowout.”
As far as Mel Gibson goes, I haven’t seen his movie, ‘The Passion of the Christ,’ because it hasn’t opened up here yet. But I did catch Gibson being interviewed by Diane Sawyer. I did something right when I came up with her, didn’t I, added God. Anyway, as I was saying, Mel is a real nut case. What in the world was I thinking when I created him? Listen, we all make mistakes.”
That is what God said to me. That’s about all he did say to me because I’m sure God has a lot more important things to do than talk to someone on television.
My own question to Pat Robertson is this: The election looks as though it could be close, certainly not a blowout. If George W. Bush loses the election to a Democrat, will you become an atheist?
My question to Mel Gibson is: “How many million dollars does it look as if you’re going to make off the crucifixion of Christ?”
Five more proposed pieces of legislation supported by Mr. Bush (5ives)
1. Protection of Words Fewer than Three Syllables Act
2. Bill to make the “High Five” the US’s official greeting
3. National ‘Everybody Wears Jeans’ Day (March 14th)
4. The “Pretty Girls Shouldn’t Act All Stuck Up” Amendment
5. Presidential proclamation that “California Must Apologize to Jesus (and It Has to Sound Like They Really Mean It)”
Lucy at home
We have a new member of the family. She’ll live in the utility room for a while but will have full privileges before long. Ripley is still a little uncertain about what this new creature means to her but will warm to her quickly. They grow quickly so we’re taking lots of pictures.
Bob London and the Rolling Trolls
I got the impression Bob London is not his real name. He did sound British and mentioned that he was heading back to London soon. In mid-February (2004) he was performing on a street corner in Key West. Duvall Street was jammed and his plastic bucket was filling up with bills. Bob’s shtick seemed to be “One Man Band.”
He has an assortment of instruments and…stuff, strapped to his back. He plays the drum (and rotates the Troll Dolls) with a cord that attaches to one shoe. He’s got a harmonica, pipes, some kind of kazoo instrument. It’s one of those “you have to see it” things. I bought one of his CD’s and hope he doesn’t mind if I share one his songs (AUDIO: All Along the Watchtower mp3).
XM Radio will provide local traffic and weather
On March 1, XM Radio will provide local traffic and weather in 21 metos, including St. Louis. The Weather Channel is doing the weather and a company called TrafficPulse is doing the traffic. You can listen to a sample on the XM site. Since I got my XM Radio, my friends in “traditional” radio have dismissed it as an expensive juke-box service. “Besides,” they pointed out, “they can’t do local stuff like traffic and weather.” Now when I drive in to St. Louis –or before I even start for St. Louis– I can check the traffic situation. Any reason they couldn’t hire some reporters in each market and provide local news?
Key West Wedding
Stephanie and Adam got married on February 13, 2004 (a Friday). The ceremoney was held on a beach in Key West about 20 feet from where I had been drinking all afternoon. It was a really nice wedding. This video clip (6 meg) might take a few minutes to download. Barb posted some still images at Fotki (a great site, BTW). Toko Irie provided the music.