Mellon Farmers

I watched Mississippi Burning (for the 5th or 6th time) on A&E last week. The movie has the appropriate amount of profanity for that time and place. As is the custom of network censors, they replaced offending words with “safe” ones. “Fucking” became “freaking,” and so forth. This never works and merely forces the viewer to do an on-the-fly translation and makes the profanity stand out where it would normally flow in context. In Die Hard with A Vengeance, we hear Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis frequently call the bad guys “mellon farmers.” Mellon farmer? Oh, motherfucker! Okay, you know what I’m talking about.

How do they accomplish this? It sure sounds like Gene Hackman, Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis saying the sanitized naughty word. At the end of shooting the movie, did they go into a studio with a list of replacement words and phrases. I know they get paid a lot of money but I have a hard time picturing Gene Hackman doing this. Do they find unknown actors to mimic the star voices? Or, do they grab safe words/phrases from other parts of the movie and insert them as needed? That sounds like a tall order. I’m hoping that one of you knows somebody that knows somebody that knows the answer to this mystery. stevemays@hotmail.com

Show Biz Moms & Dads

Show Biz Moms & Dads premiers Tuesday, April 13th, 8 p.m. Central, on Bravo. I’m not a fan of reality TV but must confess I’m looking forward to this one. Watching the promos, it seems obvious to me that the parents don’t know that the hook on this show is how pathetic they look, trying to live through their children.

The Nutters  mom, dad and seven kids  who relocated from a rural home in Vermont to a tiny two-bedroom apartment in New York so the whole family could pursue acting careers in the big city.

Four year-old pageant participant Emily Tye, whose mom Debbie spends upwards of $20,000 a year to keep her young daughter competitive.

Aspiring teen actor Jordan Barron and her mom Tiffany, who struggles with a demanding schedule of holding down a job, raising two kids and shuttling Jordan to auditions and acting classes.

Pick one memory

Jonathon Delacour on the movie After Life.

“The premise of After Life is simple. Every Monday, people who have died walk through an open doorway suffused with pale light into what looks like a derelict boarding school. Each is issued with an ID number and assigned to a counselor who will assist them in preparing for the journey to the other side. Much of the film is taken up with these counseling sessions, which commence with an explanation of the rules:”

You’re going to stay here for a week. Everyone gets a private room. Please feel at home. But while you’re here there’s one thing you must do.

Out of the __ years of your life, we’d like to ask you to choose one memory, the one you remember and cherish most. There is a time limit. You have three days to decide.

After you choose your memory, our staff will recreate it on film as exactly as possible.
On Saturday we’ll show the films to everyone. The moment the memory comes back to you most vividly, you’ll go on to the other side, taking only that memory.

Via Halley’s Comment