Category Archives: Business & Marketing

Forrest Gump on the bailout

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This showed up in my in-box and I don’t know the source or the author but will be happy to properly attribute if anyone knows.

“Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors. Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.”

“Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy up and hold all these boxes of turd-infested chocolates for $700 billion dollars until the market for turds returns to normal. Meanwhile, Hank’s buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.”

Mama always said: ‘Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest’.

Quote of the day from a fund manager: ‘This is worse than a divorce… I’ve lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife..’

And one more perspective:

“Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn’t make money running a whore house and selling booze?”

Fortune: “The genius behind Steve”

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Steve Jobs gets a fair share of the credit for the cool products Apple produces. The company is also extremely efficient and well operated and much of the credit for that goes to Chief Operating Officer Tim Cook. For a look behind the scenes of the well-oiled machine that is Apple, check out this article in the November issue of Fortune. The following excerpt will get you started:

“Tim cook arrived at Apple in 1998 from Compaq Computer. He was a 16-year computer-industry veteran – he’d worked for IBM (IBM, Fortune 500) for 12 of those years – with a mandate to clean up the atrocious state of Apple’s manufacturing, distribution, and supply apparatus. One day back then, he convened a meeting with his team, and the discussion turned to a particular problem in Asia.

“This is really bad,” Cook told the group. “Someone should be in China driving this.” Thirty minutes into that meeting Cook looked at Sabih Khan, a key operations executive, and abruptly asked, without a trace of emotion, “Why are you still here?”

Khan, who remains one of Cook’s top lieutenants to this day, immediately stood up, drove to San Francisco International Airport, and, without a change of clothes, booked a flight to China with no return date, according to people familiar with the episode. The story is vintage Cook: demanding and unemotional.”

Scott Adams: Recession

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“No one wants the economy to crumble. But having a reason to love your neighbor a little better doesn’t suck. If we can feed everyone – and I think we can – things will be fine. And as I have said here before, some kid in a garage has already figured a way out of this.”

–Scott Adams Blog

Recession: Not necessarily a bad thing

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Michael S. Hyatt has compiled a list of ten benefits of the current recession:

   1. It causes you to get more creative.
   2. It forces you to make the tough decisions.
   3. It thins out the competition.
   4. It makes you realize you can’t take anything for granted.
   5. It reminds you that real wealth isn’t about the stuff you own.
   6. It fosters out-of-the-box thinking.
   7. It makes it easier to abandon business-as-usual.
   8. It brings you back to the basics.
   9. It accelerates change.
  10. It causes you to be less wasteful.

"While you may not be able to control what happens with the economy, you can control your own mental focus. Usually, this determines whether you feel anxiety and fear or peace and hope."

Seth: Be careful who you work for

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“The single most important marketing decision most people make is also the one we spend precious little time on: where you work.

Think about this for a second. Your boss and your job determine not only what you do all day, but what you learn and who you interact with. Where you work is what you market.

If you want to become the kind of person that any company would kill to have as an employee, you need to be the kind of employee that’s really picky about who you align with.”

Seth Godin is the only blogger I quote so frequently I had to create a category for those posts. The nuggets above are from a longer post I encourage you to read.

I’ve only worked for two companies in my adult life and they’ve both been great. And if that’s important in good times, it’s true in spades in tough times.

Seth: “The growing productivity divide”

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Knife150I stopped being surprised by what people didn’t know –and didn’t care to learn– about “the Internet” a couple of years ago. My analogy was online ignorance was like not knowing how to use the telephone. As always, Seth Godin makes the point more clearly and forcefully with a little quiz:

  • Can you capture something you see on your screen and paste it into Word or PowerPoint?
  • Do you have a blog?
  • Can you open a link you get in an email message?
  • Do you read more than five blogs a day?
  • Do you have a signature in your outbound email?
  • Do you have an RSS reader?
  • Can you generate a PDF document from a Word file you’re working on?
  • Do you know how to build and share a simple spreadsheet using Google Docs?
  • Do have a shortcut for sending mail to the six co-workers you usually write to?
  • Are you able to find what you’re looking for on Google most of the time?
  • Do you know how to download a file from the internet?
  • Do you back up your work?
  • Do you keep track of contacts using a digital tool?
  • Do you use anti-virus software?
  • Do you fall for internet hoaxes and forward stuff to friends and then regret it?
  • Have you ever bought something from a piece of spam?

“Can you imagine someone who works in a factory that processes metal not knowing how to use a blowtorch? How can you imagine yourself as a highly-paid knowledge worker and not know how to do these things… If you don’t, it’s not hard to find someone to teach you.”

I don’t use an email signature but frequently sign smays.com which is almost the same thing. And, for now, no need for anti-virus software on the Mac.

Anyone reading this almost certainly knows how to perform these simple tasks. If you don’t, find someone to show you. Quickly.

PS: If you were only going to read 3 or 4 blogs… Seth Godin should be one of them.

On hold waiting to cancel XM Radio

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I’m writing this while on hold for an XM Radio “customer service” representative. My first call was answered by a gentleman who could not figure out how to pull up my account. I gave him everything but my gene sequence. We finally gave up and I called back later.

This time I spoke with a lady who is progressing very nicely with her English lessons. I explained that I wanted to cancel my service. Nothing wrong with it, I’m just not using it enough to justify the $13/month. I told her to check the iPod box on her screen.

She insisted she couldn’t deactivate my account. I would need to speak with XM’s “Deactivation Department” (can’t be good when you have a special department). That was 15 minutes ago and I’m still listening to some depressing jazz channel.

For the record, I tried to cancel on the XM website. Never found a page or link for that little chore. Which makes me conclude you can tell a lot more about a company or service by how easy they make it cancel, than by ease of sign-up.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to quickly route calls like mine to someone with enough savvy (and English) to save the subscription? Maybe offer a cheaper or better plan? Or just fix a problem if there is one?

UPDATE: After more than two hours (over three calls) of Hold Hell, I went to Plan B. Canceled the MasterCard XM hits every three months. I got the card for just this eventuality. A little hassle updating the few services I had on that card but well worth it. PS: Seems like I’m not the only one getting this little dance.

If anyone at XM Radio is reading this… I probably owe you for a few days or weeks service. Since the card is cancelled your best bet is to call my Customer Service number (1-800-FUCKYOU). We’re experiencing unusually long hold times because we don’t give a shit how long you have to hold. But the wait will be pleasant because I’ve plugged in my iPod and set it to shuffle.

UPDATE: So I post my little rant on my lunch hour and it’s now 3 p.m. Just did a Google Blog Search for “xm radio” and there it is. #3 of 135,000+ results.

Blogsearch

UPDATE: 2/16/09 – Following a number of comments on this post, I went back to the XM website to look for the number some say they found there. And found it with one click under YOUR ACCOUNT. I can’t swear I didn’t miss that during the half hour I searched the site. But I’d wager $100 if there were a way to do so.

Should your company blog?

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Matt Dickman (Techno//Marketer) is Vice President, Digital Marketing at Fleishman-Hillard in Cleveland, Ohio, and he says the answer to the question above depends on how you answer the following questions (Hint: the answer has to be ‘yes’):

  1. Are you listening to your online community? – Are you spending a minimum of two hours a day searching, reading Google alerts or using a monitoring tool like Radian6?
  2. Do you have something unique to say?
    – How will you differentiate yourself from other blogs and other
    companies? This could be your people, the information you publish or
    other forms of thought leadership.
  3. Are you willing and able to say it? – Can you talk about your industry and are you willing to put it out there?
  4. Are you willing to be challenged and criticized? – This goes with the turf. You have to be able to facilitate conversation in a respectful manner to grow a community.
  5. Are you willing and able to dedicate the resources to succeed?
    – People always underestimate this one. A good rule for this to succeed
    is to have one person dedicated to the success of your strategy for a
    minimum of 4 hours per day (2 hours of which is listening and
    commenting). That is one half of a full time person’s week. Have
    staffing plans in place as you grow and start realizing your success.

Matt has even provided a decision tree to help his more visual clients with these questions.

The two hour committment referenced in #1 sounds like a lot but I really don’t know how a company could get the most out their blog without the primary blogger investing that much time. You can’t be a naturalist if you don’t go in the forrest. Thanks to David for finding and sharing.

MacBook product placement in top TV shows

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Ichattv_2In the season premier of The Office, Pam heads off to art school with what appears to be a new MacBook. Back in Scranton, Jim has a MacBook Pro so the two love birds can chat. Of course, Michael has to get in on the fun (“Put me down, Michael. Take me back to Jim.”)

Pretty good product placement. But no better than what we saw in the season premier of HBO’s Entourage (I would have sworn I posted on this but can’t find it), when Johnny Drama carried on an LA/Paris relationship via his MacBook Pro.

I’m sure PC users assume this is just Hollywood horse shit but it really is that easy to video chat on the Mac.

We’re not talking about a bottle of Budweiser on the kitchen table. In both instances, the Mac’s were written prominently into the story line. Would love to know how much Apple paid for these two placements? [via Cult of Mac]