It probably went something like this…

Presidential Aide: Mr. President, two airliners have been flown into the World Trade Center Towers.

George W. Bush: Those are the big ones in New York, right?

Aide: Yes sir. We think there might be as many as 3,000 dead.

Bush: Who did it?

Aide: We think they were Saudis.

Bush: Damn, I’ve played golf with those guys.

Aide: No sir. These are probably extremists.

Bush: No shit. What are we gonna do about it?

Vice President Cheney: Mr. President, we have to invade Iraq but we need to invade Afghanistan first to make it look good.

Bush: Do we think that prick Saddam had something to do with it?

Cheney: Sir, we don’t know that he didn’t.

Bush: I’d like to nuke that fucker. Does he have nukes or chemical weapons or something.

CIA Director George Tennent:
There’s no evidence of that, Mr. President.

Cheney: Take another look.

Tennent: Yes sir.

Cheney: When we invade, I think I can get my friends at Halliburton to pitch in.

Bush: Cool.

[Fast forward. The Liberation of Irag is not going well]

Bush: Goddamn it Rummy, I thought you said this thing would take a few weeks and we’d be greeted as liberators. Everyone going to Camp David with me and the First Lady, take one step forward… not so fast Rummy!

[Later]

Bush: Karl, we’re in the shit here. What should we do?

Karl Rove: Well, you’re in your final term… just drag the thing out and leave it for the Democrats.

Bush: Can we do that?

Rove: I don’t see why not. We can say things we’re looking good when we left.

Bush: But things look like hell!

Rove: Just wait. They’ll look a lot worse.

Bush: But won’t history show that I screwed the pooch on this?

Rove and Cheney: (Looking at the floor and ceiling respectively)

Cheney: Uh, no sir, Mr. President. All anyone will remember is the Middle East exploded on the Democrats’ watch. Uh, listen guys, I gotta run. I’m going skeet shooting with Scooter.

Update: Just in… a plan for withdrawal.

Will Twitter be bigger than Facebook?

The guys (no gender implied) at AdRants are big fans of Twitter:

“Writing on Entrecard Graham Langdon makes the argument Twitter will be bigger than Facebook. He’s right. Twitter is many things but it lacks the baggage and some of the “creepy” aspects of Facebook. All within 140 characters, Twitter is IM, email, mobile app, chat room, focus group, news source, a wall on which to bounce ideas, a research resource, presence indicator.

It’s usually the simplest of things that have the most value. Facebook is bloated. Twitter is Internet Lite (I refuse to dub it anything with a 2.0 attached). It’s a simple but ever so powerful interface that brings so many things together and functions as a jumping off point to an endless collection of resources and information.

It’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll interpret this as idiotic puffery but until you use Twitter, really use it for a while, you won’t really understand what you’re missing and you don’t realy have the right to comment. Seriously. Give it a try.”

I confess I’ve given up trying to explain Twitter. And it took me more than a year to come around.

Technology in the Missouri Senate

Shields200I got a few minutes with Missouri State Senator Charlie Shields this morning. Senator Shields –the Majority Floor Leader–  was kind enough to let me ask a few questions at a very busy time for the legislature. I wanted his take on how the Senate uses –or doesn’t– use technologies like laptops, the web, smart phones, Blackberry’s, blogs and podcasting.

The House allows laptops in the chamber but the Senate doesn’t. The concern seems to be that senators would be surfing the web or checking email and not paying attention to debate and the business of the senate. Senator Shields does not agree with that position and feels it’s just a matter of time until laptops are allowed.

I asked about Blackberry’s and smart phones, which are allowed. He said you don’t have to look hard to find a Senator checking his email.

The media can have laptops in the press gallery at the press table. I didn’t ask but assume there is wifi access for the media because I could get it in the hallway waiting to talk with the senator.

I asked if any bloggers had requested permission to cover the senate. He said not to his knowledge. I wasn’t entirely clear on his answer to the question, would bloggers be allowed to cover the proceedings. I think both the House and Senate make a pretty clear distinction between the “real” media and bloggers.

Senator Shields was unaware of any of his senate colleagues blogging. It surprises me a bit that some of the more clued-in haven’t discovered the power of this tool.

As for personal tech gadgets, Senator Shields has a Blackberry and an iPod on which he sometimes listens to jazz podcasts and NPR’s Car Talk.

He concluded with the prediction that the role of technology in the Senate will increase dramatically in coming years. No doubt.

Update: Missourinet News Director Bob Priddy –who has been covering the Missouri legislature since the early 70’s– adds and clarifies:

“We actually don’t have a press gallery as the House does. We have a press table which is on the Senate floor.  The senate, of course, has had its sessions on the internet, first on our site, then on others, and then on its own site for many years.

The irony of the idea that Senators will be at their desks checking email or playing games or bidding on ebay is that most senators don’t stay on the floor unless the legislation being considered is really big or unless they have a specific role with any bill.  They can be in their offices checking their email or playing games or shopping on ebay.

The use of blackberries and smart phones on the Senate floor is a mixed blessing.  It does enable the senators to get information from their office or their staff without leaving their desks. But it also enables lobbyists to send them messages from the hallways, giving lobbyists access to the Senate floor although the rules don’t allow them in the chamber in person.  For some folks, that’s not a comfortable relationship but nobody has figured out a way to control that access, nor do they seem to want to.

The use of the computer has helped the amendment process. Senate staff sits at the other table at the front side of the chamber and can prepare amendments on the computer and run them into a printer pretty quickly.  It’s been several years since I’ve seen a Senator write an amendment at the desk. In fact, debate is often slowed or stopped so a Senator can go to the staff table and have the staff write an amendment.

Of course the computer has made it a whole lot easier for the people in the clerk’s office to compile the journal, prepare copies of bills with amendments included in them before the bill goes up for final passage—-and just generally manage the flow of documents that go through the place.”

PS: If you’re wondering why I didn’t just post the audio of the interview… I hit the wrong button on my new fancy-pants digital recorder and erased the interview. Please don’t take my car keys.

“I’m mad as hell and… anonymous!”

One of our reporters stepped on blogger toes earlier this week. Steve Walsh is a reporter for The Missourinet, a radio network headquartered in Jefferson City. He took over the network blog a few weeks back and has been doing a good job with it. The post in question attempted to make some “distinctions” between MSM bloggers and “political” bloggers.

“…while the MSM bloggers represent their media outlets and, therefore, must be truthful and accurate … the vast majority of the political bloggers are unaccountable … and sometimes fall short of telling “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

Ouch. That’s a commonly held view by a lot of reporters. And a lot of folks –bloggers and the public alike– would question the “must be truthful and accurate” part but that’s not what this post is about.

One of the blogs Steve “called out” is Fired Up Missouri. The blog represents the Democratic view of things and the blogger goes by the pseudonym “Howard Beale.” Howard Beale was the fictional news anchor in the film Network.

“Howard Beale” fired back and called Steve to task for a story he did some months ago. Your normal blogosphere kerfuffle.

Steve responded and made what I consider the check-mate move. He pointed out one key difference between MSM blogs like his and Fired Up Missouri. Steve signs his posts and the blogger at Fired Up Missouri does not.

This point trumps all others in my opinion. And adds heavy irony to the choice of the pseudonym “Howard Beale.”

“I want you to get up out of your chairs… go over to your computers… and post an angry rant to your blog… anonymously.” See? Doesn’t work.

But as luck –and some good detective work– I have discovered the identity of “Howard Beale” and will reveal it here at 5:00 p.m. this Friday. I think you’ll be shocked.

Disclosure: The company I work for, Learfield, is the parent company of The Missourinet, the company Steve Walsh works for. I should also point out that I have come out here as supporting Barack Obama. I don’t think of myself as a Democrat because if he wasn’t running I wouldn’t be voting for the Democratic candidate. But if I have a leaning, it’s more toward the views expressed on Fired Up Missouri.