Category Archives: Quotable & Notes

Weinerschnitzel adjustment

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“Now sometimes a pair of briefs – for reasons I cannot understand – have the most annoying characteristic you could ever imagine: In the course of normal walking and sitting, the wearer’s weinershnitzel ends up poking halfway through the flap hole like a turtle coming out of its shell. And before long, the most sensitive part of your body is wedged between your briefs and the harsh denim material of your pants. As I walked toward the departure gate, I was choking Private Johnson and giving him a noogie at the same time.”

— Scott Adams

Phone Whores

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In case you are not familiar with a term that I just made up, a phone whore is a woman who goes to the airport with no magazines, laptops, books, puzzles or other means to entertain her. All she has is a phone, and she’s going to use it, no matter how many people are annoyed.

The phone whore is motivated by the desire to talk with people. The phone asshole (male variety) is motivated by the need to have everyone on the flight know he’s negotiating important business deals and that he has staff members that must receive his wisdom.

— Scott Adams

 

Fictional passwords: Western concept of Self

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John Burdett’s second novel, Bangkok Tattoo, was as good as his first (Bangkok 8). Both stories are set in (you guessed it) Bangkok, where Thai police detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep solves bizarre murders. Sonchai is a devout Buddhist and the plot is laced with Eastern religion. I especially liked this description of the Western concept of Self:

“…a ramshackle collection of coincidences held together by a desperate and irrational clinging, there is no center at all, everything depends on everything else, your body depends on the environment, your thoughts depend on whatever junk floats in from the media, your emotions are largely from the reptilian end of your DNA, your intellect is a chemical computer that can’t add up a zillionth as fast as a pocket calculator, and even your best side is a superficial piece of social programming that will fall apart just as soon as your spouse leaves with the kids and the money in the joint account, or the economy starts to fail and you get the sack, or you get conscripted into some idiot’s war, or they give you the news about your brain tumor.”

Ouch. The wannabe geek in me also enjoyed this password to a CIA online database:

AQ82860136574X-Halifax nineteen [lowercase] Oklahoma twenty-2 BLUE WHALE [all uppercase] Amerika stop 783

Won’t even fit on a Post-It note.

Scott Adams: Flag burning

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“It seems to me that the great thing about the flag is that it symbolizes something inherently indestructible: the concept of freedom. You can burn the flag as many times as you want and the concept of freedom is not only still there – it’s stronger. I like that about my flag. I would go so far as to say it’s my flag’s best feature.”

The Long Tail (Book)

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If you loved Chris Anderson’s Wired article (Octoboer, 2004), The Long Tail… you will love his book (same name). I’m just a couple of chapters in but finding “hmmm” nuggets on every page.

Most of the top fifty best-selling albums of all time were recorded in the seventies and eighties (the Eagles, Michael Jackson), and none of them were made in the past five years.

Anderson provides a deeper understanding of why Amazon and Netflix, et al. are so popular. This might be a two-highlighter book.

Blogging isn’t a business

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Doc Searls was one of several blogger biggies taking part in BloggerCon IV (“Celebrating the art and science of weblogs”), this weekend in San Francisco. Looks like all of the sessions are available as MP3 downloads and I’m looking forward to the one titled “Making Money.” Doc’s take on blogging and business makes a lot of sense to me:

First, blogging isn’t a business, any more than emailing or phoning are businesses. It is, however, becoming more important to many businesses. And to the nonbusiness lives of millions. This is an example of what I call The Because Effect. In the Making Money session yesterday, John Palfrey called this “making money Off blogging” (“as opposed to making money by blogging”).

Mark Cuban on cursing

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“I like to curse. I like to curse because I enjoy how it gets everyone in an uproar. I won’t curse in an environment where I have accepted an invitation or am a guest of someone else. I will play by their rules. But if you come on my home turf and want something from me. It’s my rules.”

— Mark Cuban

Yes. Yes, indeed. And smays.com is my turf so you should expect to see a profanity or an obscenity from time to time. Please reference this post.

Most people aren’t funny

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Lt. Steven Hauk’s (Bruno Kirby) wonderful line from Good Morning, Vietnam. It was brought to mind by this observation in a story about Ze Frank:

“Most people aren’t funny, and most funny people are not funny most of the time.” — Clay Shirky, adjunct professor at New York University (interactive telecommunications program)

For my part, I’d rather be funny than know how to fly.