Dead Air (A Poem)

Dead Air
The circus sounded louder, before it came to town.
The trumpeting pachyderm I was to ride, deafening.
But listening from the wings of the not-so-Bigtop,
The small town crowd made anxious sounds,
Then delighted gasps, to see me astride the tiny beast,
My red high tops dragging lightly through the sawdust.

Judging the beauty of little girls needs quiet.
Not the angry feed of mothers, charging backstage
To rescue little also-rans through the band room door.
Experienced masters of such ceremonies pretend
We do not hear their shame.

But the loudest sound is the tick, tick, tick
Of the song that ended while I was gone.
This room, this Studio, must never be silent.
Can they hear my panic as I bring the air
Back from the dead?

(Update in comments)

Junior-Senior Prom

Junior-SeniorProm-KHS2

With prom season upon us (already over?) here’s Ms. Betty Jane Lowrance, Kennett High School Prom Queen of 1965. Pictured with Ms. Lowrance is Junior Class President Steve Mays.

Turns out I was the only one that didn’t know the junior class president was responsible for decorating the gym for the prom. (I thought the field of candidates seemed a bit sparse) Note the manly confidence with which I hold the prom queen’s hand.

Journals

journal entryI’ve been blogging since February, 2002, and for most of that time I equated the effort with keeping a diary or journal. I was wrong. I came to this conclusion after reading back through some of my journals from the early eighties. (Index below)

I was struck by the personal, private tone of these entries. I would not have wanted to share these thoughts with others, even if there had been a way (Internet, blogs, etc). I usually wrote longhand in a spiral bound notebook. Once in a while I’d type an entry on my manual typewriter.

Reading my thoughts from thirty years ago feels almost… intrusive. That was a very different person. He was anxious and prone to worry. He drank too much ( or thought it did. He worried about it). He lacked self confidence. I feel my shoulders tense as I read these entries. I suspect writing this stuff down was a way of coping. I wish I could time travel back and leave a “note from your future self” telling him to relax. It turns out great in the end.

The image above is from an entry on May 14, 1984. Just a couple of weeks after I accepted the job I just retired from (after 29 years). I’m putting all of this stuff in my Google Drive and sharing it with family.

After a dozen years of blogging publicly, I don’t expect to return to the the diary format, but David Cain has some interesting thoughts on the value of putting one’s personal thoughts down on paper:

“The simple act of writing out a thought keeps it still long enough for you to get a good look at it. Once it’s there in front of you, you can decide if it’s true, and whether you ought to do anything about it.”

Journal entries from 1983-1985

New York: The Park

New York: Buildings

Dark Universe

“With astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson as your guide, go beyond the night sky and into deep space to find out how discoveries over the past 100 years have led us to two great cosmic mysteries: dark matter and dark energy. You’ll hurtle through Jupiter’s atmosphere, peer at the web of dark matter holding galaxies together, and watch the colorful remains of the universe’s beginnings unfold.”

I was fortunate to experience this at the Hayden Planetarium (part of the American Museum of Natural History in New York). The most amazing and wonderful thing I have every seen.

Ammi Simon: Tour Guide


Next week I’ll be in New York for a few days. I don’t have much planned. Just walking around, soaking up the atmosphere. I’ve hired a guide for my first day. Ammiel has lived in New York City since 1960. He attended The High School of Music and Art and has performed as an actor and musician at Lincoln Center, Madison Square Garden and Carnegie Hall. I found him on ToursbyLocals.com. Ammi has promised to show me the New York that only New Yorkers see.