Andy Rooney on the Passion Of The Christ

It doesn’t seem right, but religion has been in the news a lot recently.

Pat Robertson says that God has spoken to him and told him that George W. Bush will be re-elected because he deserves to be.

Here’s Pat Robertson’s exact quote: “I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I’m hearing from the Lord that it’s going to be a blowout.”

The movie by Mel Gibson called The Passion of the Christ is the other religious issue in the news. Everyone’s talking about that. The question is whether the Jews killed Jesus Christ – who was Jewish, of course.

I hadn’t wanted to say anything about this, because it seemed like a personal matter, but Pat Robertson isn’t the only one who has heard from God.

I heard from God just the other night. God always seems to call at night. “Andrew,” God said to me. He always calls me “Andrew.” I like that.

“Andrew, you have the eyes and ears of a lot of people. I wish you’d tell your viewers that both Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson strike me as wackos. I believe that’s one of your current words. They’re crazy as bedbugs, another earthly expression. I created bedbugs. I’ll tell you, they’re no crazier than people, said God.

“Let me just say that I think I’d remember if I’d ever talked to Pat Robertson, and I’d remember if I said Bush would get re-elected in a blowout.”

As far as Mel Gibson goes, I haven’t seen his movie, ‘The Passion of the Christ,’ because it hasn’t opened up here yet. But I did catch Gibson being interviewed by Diane Sawyer. I did something right when I came up with her, didn’t I, added God. Anyway, as I was saying, Mel is a real nut case. What in the world was I thinking when I created him? Listen, we all make mistakes.”

That is what God said to me. That’s about all he did say to me because I’m sure God has a lot more important things to do than talk to someone on television.

My own question to Pat Robertson is this: The election looks as though it could be close, certainly not a blowout. If George W. Bush loses the election to a Democrat, will you become an atheist?

My question to Mel Gibson is: “How many million dollars does it look as if you’re going to make off the crucifixion of Christ?”

Pre-order DVD and get it same day film in theaters?

Mark Cuban thinks he’s ready to turn filmmaking on its ear: “Why can’t I preorder a DVD and receive it the day the film is released in theaters? Or buy it on my way out of the theater if I liked what I saw? One thing I learned from the Mavs is that you can watch the game on TV, but you’ll still go to the game, because it’s a different experience.” [Wired via Boing Boing]

Milton from Office Space

“And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire.”

— Milton from Office Space.

David Weinberger on Kill Bill

“Tarantino’s love of movies is infectious. But what he loves about them isn’t their literary capabilities, the way they can show us people and events changing each other, and the rest of that important yada. No, QT loves their syntax, their rhetoric. And that’s what Kill Bill is great at: a samurai sword being re-holstered, a nod that launches an attack. It’s like a “That’s Entertainment” that shows not the greatest tap dance sequences in the history of movies but the greatest gestures.”