I emailed a story about how to avoid getting bitten by a dog to my blogging vet pal, Dr. T. Everett Mobley, thinking it might be fodder for his blog (it wasn’t). Here is a portion of his reply:

“I have had a few very severe wounds, as well as many minor ones. Fortunately, most dogs in my situation simply want me to go away, so they bite and let go (pretty soon, anyway). The part about not jerking back is absolutely true. However, one’s first experience probably won’t allow you to avoid that reflex. Unfortunately, I am now able to stand still (while yelling at the top of my lungs) until the dog lets go. The crushing is much more painful and damaging than the punctures. Adding a tearing component is certainly undesirable. Afterwards, I sometimes have to lie down before I fall down.”

We live on a three-acre, mostly wooded, lot. And I challenge you to walk 50 yards without stepping in a pile of Golden Retreiver poop. As he so often does, Dave offers fresh insight on this endless and thankless task. A couple of my favorites:

You shouldn’t use kitchen utensils to pick up canis crap. My neighbor uses a large soup spoon, and I just can’t endorse that. Nothing I would ever put into my mouth will be used to pick up fecal matter, because I’m fairly aloof, and often deep in thought. What if I got confused? The tool you use says a lot about your personality. A scoop indicates a straight-forward person who attacks a job quickly and efficiently. A dustpan-type tool is a sign of creativity, the user approaching the job with a flair for the dramatic. In my case, I use this thing that resembles a piece of earth-moving equipment. It indicates power, control, and a penchant toward genius.