Automotive Foreplay

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Watching my truck (’79 Series III Land Rover) being (re)built piece by piece is delicious agony. They’re taking their time, ordering pieces as they decide what needs to be replaced and waiting for them to arrive from the UK supplier. Every couple of weeks they post four or five photos and I pour over them inch by inch. As much as I’ve enjoyed my MINI, nothing about it has this kind of attraction for me. Like all my other vehicles, it’s a way to get from A to B.

But this truck. Everything about it seems to pluck my magic twanger. Take look at the front bumper (below). It’s a big hunk of steel. No chrome. No curves. No ornamentation. Just a big metal bar. I guess the idea was if you happened to hit something (or something hit you) the bumper would protect the front of the truck. Is there a vehicle on the road to day that can take a bump at any speed without resulting in hundreds of dollars in damage? But function aside, I love the form of this thing. Could it be more simple?

And then there are the iconic Land Rover door latches. Grab. Pull. Gonna be driving through the bush? No problemo. Door handles are recessed, thank you very much.

And that lock. Won’t be needing that bluetooth remote for these. You need a key. (Even though these looks look like they could be picked with a paper clip)

I mean, there’s just no extra shit. Everything has a purpose. A function.

Atomic Blonde (trailer 2)

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Jason Bourne can just sit the fuck down. I’m not gonna say Atomic Blonde is a great movie. We could argue all day about that. I am gonna say it’s one of the better movies I’ve seen in a long time. Boy, oh boy… where to begin?

I’ve heard critics say there was no story. Well, if you need a story, take my library card and go check out Great Expectations. If you want an entertaining movie, look no further.

Now let’s talk about action. I thought the fight sequences in Atomic Blonde were as good (better?) as anything since the first Bourne movie. Remember the fight scene in Kill Bill: Vol.1 between Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah (in Michael Madsen’s mobile home)? And the scene where James Gandolfini kicks the living shit out of Patricia Arquette in True Romance? Every fight scene in Atomic Blonde was at the level or a smidgen above.

You might not have noticed but after a long, protracted fight scene, male stars might have a cut lip and be breathing hard. Charlize Theron LOOKED and ACTED like she’d been in a brawl. And during the brawl? Grunting and screaming and gasping. I mean, you were _there_! Oh yeah. I’ll bet there was a half gallon of fake blood splashed on the camera lens during these scenes. And watch for the quick POV (point of view) camera shots.

What else? The sound track! Best I’ve heard in awhile. Every cut worked.

And last but not least… girl-on-girl sex. That’s become standard far in these liberated times. Every action movies needs some hot lesbians. Was Charlize Theron’s character a lesbian? Don’t know. But there was a 20 second scene that was so hot they should have handed out welder’s goggles as you entered the theater.

I was expecting a cartoon but got way more with this movie.

Tired: Ethan Hunt, James Bond, Jason Bourne
Wired: Charlize Theron in Atomic Blonde

Restoration Photos: 31july2017

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Waiting for new photos of the truck is exquisite torture. If we’re down to things like headlights and grills we must be in the home stretch. Next week I’ll get to put my hands on this baby (I hope) and meet the guys doing the restoration. Been awhile since I’ve been this excited. More photos »

An unfunny Woody Allen

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Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan calls Donald Trump “Woody Allen without humor.” Ouch.

“The president’s primary problem as a leader is not that he is impetuous, brash or naive. It’s not that he is inexperienced, crude, an outsider. It is that he is weak and sniveling. It is that he undermines himself almost daily by ignoring traditional norms and forms of American masculinity. Continue reading →

San Diego, August 9-10

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I’m headed for San Diego in a couple of weeks to visit Lucra Cars (which is in San Marcos, just north of San Diego) and meet the folks doing the restoration on my Land Rover. I’ll probably see some sights while I’m there but it’s the truck I’m going to see. I’ll try to post some photos, from the road or upon my return.

“We’re gonna have to pull the engine”

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I’ve been hanging out on a Land Rover forum and mentioned my fondness for the simplicity of the old trucks. Another member posted these photos of the engine compartment of his Audi. One with the engine ‘cover’ and one with it removed.

Legend has it that you can only change two sensors without removing the engine. The crank sensor and the Temperature sensor. The temperature sensor is underneath the AC pump though, which needs disconnected. Therefore it needs to be done at a garage as the engine cant be run with no refrigerant gas as supposedly there is no clutch on the AC pump. (doubtful IMHO). To remove the engine means dismantling everything from the rear diff forwards, lowering the engine, front transmission and subframe then lifting the car off. On the Landy you can get to pretty much every part of the engine in situ. The engine only really needs to come out if the crank needs to come out.

For all the charm of an old Land Rover, the lads (mostly Brits) who haunt this forum pull no punches about what it’s really like to drive one of these things. Cold in the winter, hot in the summer, noisy in any season. Only time will tell if I can make the transition from the MINI. I’m approaching this more as art project and philosophical exercise than a way to get downtown.

The Late Show by Michael Connelly

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Fans of the Harry Bosch detective series will, I believe, be well pleased with Michael Connelly’s new character/series. Just finished The Late Show (introducing LAPD detective Renee Ballard) and could not put the book down. (It’s not a cliche when it’s true.)

Harry Bosch was born in 1950 so he’d be 67 years old in any story set in 2017. Too old for the situations Connelly creates for Harry. Freezing Harry at, say, 47 years old puts the story back in the late ‘90s. Before a lot of tech that could/should figure in most crime fiction.

Sue Grafton long ago made the decision to keep Kinsey Millhone forever in the 80s. No cell phones or computers (that I recall).

In this new series, we get a female cop who knows her way around an iPhone and summons Uber when she needs a ride. Feels right.

Something else I noticed off the bat. In physical encounters with bad guys, there’s a threatening tension that didn’t exist for Harry. While Harry can pretty much kick anybody’s ass, Renee is tough and fit but no match for a bad guy that has a hundred pounds on her.

Connelly lets this new character have some sexuality, too. Harry got laid from time to time, but it’s different (and interesting, plot-wise) for a female character.

If you like the Bosch novels you won’t be disappointed by this first in a new series.

Some spoilers in this excellent review in the L. A. Times but for those that have already read the book, a good piece.

“I didn’t freeze Harry in time, because it’s better storytelling not to. As long as he can keep his health and his knees are good, he can close cases.” Nonetheless, at 67, Bosch presents readers of the redoubtable series with a different kind of ticking clock.

 

When 50 feels like 80

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Since pulling the trigger on a Series (III) Land Rover, I’ve been on a steady diet of YouTube videos. Restoration videos; how-to videos; for sale videos; and lots of fan videos. One of the best of these is on a channel called Harry’s Garage. I gather Harry knows a good bit about cars and he is very found of his 1954 Series I Land Rover.

First half of the video is a walk-around and in the second half he takes us for a ride. The person recording the video is in the back of the truck and you can see the road and the speedometer. But you can’t hear a word old Harry is saying because the truck is so loud. When the speed reaches 50 mph the truck is shaking like the space shuttle during lift-off.

Since learning my new highway top-end would be around 50 mph I’ve been setting the cruise control on my MINI at 55 to get a feel for what was coming. It felt frighteningly slow. Every other car whizzing by. How will I get used to this, I wondered.

I won’t have to. Riding along with old Harry in his Series I at 50 mph felt like 80 mph!

Starting to look like a truck

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Wish I knew the names of the technicians working on my truck. Trying to put together a trip to San Diego to see the truck and maybe learn about about its history. Probably a long shot. Nice to start getting some photos again. Never seen a battery like the one below. I’m told that’s because it has to crank a diesel engine.

If you’re joining us late, you can read about the beginning of the Land Rover adventure here.