A nice young man showed up this morning to pump out the contents of our septic tank. Watching him work, I was reminded of the slang term, “honey wagon.” Let’s go to Wikipedia:

A honeywagon is the slang term for a “vacuum truck” for collecting and carrying human excreta. These vehicles may be used to empty the sewage tanks of buildings, aircraft lavatories, passenger train toilets and at campgrounds and marinas as well as portable toilets. The folk etymology behind the name ‘honeywagon’ is thought to relate to the honey-colored liquid that comes out of it when emptying the holding tanks.

They honeywagon has a long history:

The honey wagon was originally a horse-drawn vehicle that went through back alleys to collect human excreta. Houses at that time did not have flush toilets or indeed any form of indoor sanitation beyond the chamberpot. In rural areas the outhouse (privy) is associated with a pit latrine of various sorts, but many towns and cities depended on some variant of the pail closet, which needed frequent emptying. At each outdoor toilet, the driver would stop the wagon, flip up the back hatch door (trap-door) of the outhouse, slide out the pail (bucket), pick it up, and dump the contents into one of eight oak half-barrels in the wagon box. The half-barrels had no lids.

Like the young man told me this morning, “Somebody’s gotta do it.” In the television and film industry, the term has a different meaning.

In America, the term honeywagon is usually given to a truck, trailer or combination of both with a number of dressing rooms for the actor. These either have individual toilets or a communal set built in. Some honeywagons will be just two large toilets. Others are a combination of variously sized rooms for specific purposes: these rooms can be private dressing rooms assigned to a single person, larger rooms configured for the wardrobe, or makeup departments, small individual toilets for the crew to share, and multiple user or individual shower rooms for bathing.

What, you thought Meryl Streep used a Porta  Potty?

When we built our house 40+ years ago, we had to have a well dug and a septic system to dispose of sewage. I had reservations about both but the guy who designed our house assured me we wouldn’t have a problem with either. And he was mostly right. We had to have our well worked on following a lightening strike but our septic system has been trouble-free.

It recently occurred to me we have never had our septic tank emptied. In forty years! That didn’t seem possible but I’m 99% certain. So I contacted a company that inspects and empties septic tanks.

John and Jose showed yesterday and put a few hours of back-breaking work into digging down to our tank (18 inches) in search of the lid to the tank. They never found it (the lid) and had to cut a hole in the tank and install a “riser” with a new lid.

Looking down into the hole they cut in the tank, I could see the tank was nearly full. John explained that we had never had an odor problem because the tank and the drain field was properly installed, using good materials.

Like an aerator (see photo below). Most aerobic septic systems require a septic tank aerator to assist in the clarification of your wastewater. … This bacteria breaks down the wastewater rendering it harmless to the environment. If you have an aerobic system a properly functioning aerator is absolutely necessary. In the photo below you can see our had long ago given up the ghost.

In a few days the company will send a special truck to pump out the septic and — once it arrives — install a new aerator. If all this work sounds expensive, it is. But this is a part of rural living where skimping is a mistake.

Update (12/8/22): Smoke test