I look good in theater restrooms

Maybe it’s the lighting or the tile, I can’t explain it. I first noticed it many years ago when I was a little more conscious of my appearance. I’m not a good dresser and my grooming is just so-so. But one day I dashed into the men’s room at a movie theater and saw myself in the mirror. This was how I wanted to look all the time. At first I thought it was just that theater restroom but the city or size of the theater didn’t matter. I look just as good in the Seattle Cineplex as the small art house in Kansas City.

I’ve never shared this information with anyone because there’s no way to verify it. I can’t take my wife with me for the obvious reason. And she’d tell me I looked good anyway. I can’t take a male friend (“Hey, I think I look pretty cool in the men’s room mirror… would you come with me and tell me what you think?”). I thought about trying to sneak a camera in but discarded that one pretty quickly. There’s just no acceptable explanation for taking photographs in the men’s room.

So we have here one of life’s little jokes. Sort of a “Restroom of the Magi.” I’ve been given the gift of seeing myself look just the way I want to look but I cannot share this experience. Perhaps I should be happy there is any place where I feel good about my appearance.

To those of you who know me and might have occasion to see me in a theater restroom, please don’t say anything. If you agree that I look damned fine, just give me a thumbs up or the OK sign and let it go at that.

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