Yearly Archives: 2005

Secret Scrooge

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A coworker came by my office today, held up a little cup, and told me to draw a name. When I asked why, she explained it was for my Secret Santa. I said I’d be glad to contribute some money but didn’t think I wanted to have a Secret Santa. Too late, she explained.

“I sent an email around yesterday and it clearly said to contact me by 5 p.m. (yesterday) if you didn’t want to take part in Secret Santa.”

Seems the Secret Santa program is opt-out only.

“I got a couple of hundred emails yesterday,” I explaind. “If one of them had ‘Secret Santa’ for the subject line, I probably didn’t open it. Can’t I just give you some money?”

“No. Someone already has your name and if you don’t participate, I’ll have to go back to them and have them pick another name,” she explained.

“Uh, what’s involved in being a Secret Santa?” I asked.

“You buy a small ($5.00 limit) gift for your Secret Santa pal each week for the next four weeks,” she replied.

Right. I gave my wife a check for our 28th wedding anniversary. I won’t be searching the mall for a clever gift for a coworker. I came off sounding like an asshole that didn’t want to join in the holiday fun and my coworker huffed out.

While it’s too late to be Jimmy Stewart, maybe I can offer some alternatives to Secret Santa. You could buy a card for the person in the next cube. Or bring in some fudge to share. Remember, it dosn’t matter if they get you a card or some fudge, it’s the giving that counts. But that’s no fun and there’s no…mystery. So how about this: Secret Scrooge.

The SS is chosen by lot. Nobody knows his or her identity. Early in the morning (before anyone else is at the office) on the last work day before Christmas, the Secret Scrooge leaves a sealed note on the desk of coworker, informing him or her that they have to work Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day. They don’t have to do anything, they just have to be at their desk. And — here’s the fun part– they spend that time trying to guess the identity of the Secret Scrooge. Can we count you in? It’ll be fun.

Barenaked Ladies distribute on flash drives

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Rather than distribute via CD, DVD or download, the Barenaked Ladies are making their newest selection of songs, videos and exclusive material available on a USB flash drive. Nettwerk Music Group is releasing “Barenaked on a Stick” beginning today, says the Hollywood Reporter. It plays on PCs, Macs and any other audio product with a USB port — like some car stereos — and costs $30. This 128 reusable drive contains 29 songs, including the band’s 2004 “Barenaked for the Holidays” album, in MP3 format along with live tracks, in-concert spoken quips, album art, photos, videos and more.

Living Healthy Podcast: Shows 6 and 7

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We now have seven Living Healthy Podcasts online or in the can. We’ve been recording two shows at a time to get a bit ahead. Henry’s idea, and a good one. The most recent shows (Influenza and Smoking) are the best to date (IMO). I’m hearing some things for the first time and it’s all useful stuff you can put into practice (or not). And some of it’s just interesting. For example, people who succeed in quitting smoking attempted it seven times. The new shows go up on December 3 and 10.

How to get through to a real, live person

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ABC News did a story last week about a Boston-area blogger named Paul English who has compiled a “cheat sheet” to get past the automated “customer service” systems used by more and more companies. The company brass would insist these systems are cheaper than putting a human in the loop:

“A customer service call handled by a human in the United States costs a company up to a dollar a minute, and calls outsourced to India cost about 40 cents a minute.”

Yeah, yeah. But the dirty truth is, companies hate talking to their customers and would rather avoid them if in-humanly possible. I’m proud that our company still has a real, live person answering the phone (except on weekends) who really wants to help you find the right person. I put my direct number on just about every email I send.

As for the cheat sheet… now that ABC and NPR have done stories on this guy, you can bet the listed companies are scurrying around like rats, changing numbers so we can’t “cheat.”

A Woman from Cairo

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Val Landi’s new novel, of A Woman from Cairo, sounds like a page-turner:

“A young Egyptian documentary film maker is recruited by the highest ranks of al Qaeda to create a documentary in Afghanistan about the leadership of the Holy War. The prologue of the book describes the accidental filming of the assassination of The Sheik, a fictionalized Osama bin Laden, and the film maker’s escape with the film footage to Pakistan and eventually back to temporary, fleeting safety in Cairo.”

The novel is in pre-production but there’s a website and the author has a blog.

Masthead Images

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A list of masthead images used here at smays.com since we moved to Typepad. All photos by smays unless otherwide indicated:

Town Grill, Jefferson City, MO
Ecco Lounge, Jefferson City, MO
Sunrise Over Learfield, Jefferson City, MO (David Sprague)
Waffle House, Destin, FL
Missouri River, Rocheport, MO
KBOA, Kennett, MO (John Reeder)
Boogie Board Boy, Destin, FL
Sunset, Destin, FL
Busch Stadium, St. Louis, MO (David Sprague)
Joe Browning, Memphis, TN (unknown)
Delta Fair Midway, Kennett, MO (Charlies Jolliff)
Delta Fair Midway, Kennett, MO (Charles Jolliff)
Stonebrook Acres Pond, Jefferson City, MO
Whistler, BC (Barb Miltenberger)
KBOA Studio A, Kennett, MO (John Reeder)
Church Attic, somewhere in Mississippi (Charlie Peck)
Parking Lot, Jefferson City, MO
Chili’s, Jefferson City, MO
Day Cruise, Destin, FL (Barb Miltenberger)
Mt. McKinley, Alaska (Jeff Bassinson)
PR Technology Luncheon, January 10, 2006, Clayton, MO.
State Capitol, Madison, WI, Photo by Jackie Johnson, February, 2006.
Joe Browning, Church St., Kennett, MO (Photo by Trish Wareing)
Missouri River, South of Cooper’s Landing 5/28/06
Strip Club, Downtown Kansas City 10/21/06
Whiteout, Kim Lang’s back yard (in or near Omaha, NE – March 1, 2007)

Small town radio: 1976

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When my brother moved to Indonesia, he stored a bunch of boxes at our father’s house. After dad died and we sold the house, I lugged the boxes back to Jeff City. My brother and I went through them this week and discovered the treasure above. My hair is gray now and may someday be gone, but I will always have this.

“Captain Banana, who spends most of his days disguised as a mild-mannered local radio personality, will emerge Saturday to serve as master of ceremonies for the American Cancer Society dance-a-thon to raise money for cancer research. The contest will begin at 7:00 p.m.; tickets are $1 at the door.” — Daily Dunklin Democrat, May 12, 1976.