Best Fake Teabagger Signs at the Boston Common Tea Party » Via PlanetNelson.com
Tag Archives: Clueless and Proud
Search “cancel xm radio”
I cancelled my subscription to XM Radio a couple of years ago and it was such a hassle I shared my experience here. That post continues to generate comments and Google juice. First, the latest comment:
“Even though my credit card expired, they continue to send me bills. I have called numerous times to cancel but they refuse to do it. Instead, they continue to bill me through the mail and call relentlessly for the money. I am on hold now for at least 45 min. This is a problem that every XM subscriber should be aware of.”
How do these lost souls find there way to my obscure little post? Google search “cancel xm radio”
More than 10 million search results and the 2nd one (right after the company FAQ page) is a bunch of folks with horror stories about the company.
The Handmaid’s Tale
“The Handmaid’s Tale is set in the Republic of Gilead, a country formed within the borders of what was formerly the United States of America by a racist, chauvinist, nativist, theocratic-organized military coup motivated by an ideologically-driven response to the pervasive ecological degradation of the land, widespread infertility, and attendant social dislocations. Beginning with a staged terrorist attack killing the President and ousting Congress, the coup leaders launched a revolution which overthrew the United States government and abolished the US Constitution. The new theocratic military dictatorship, styled “The Republic of Gilead”, moved quickly to consolidate its power and reorganize society along a new militarized, hierarchical, compulsorily-Christian regime of Old Testament-inspired social and religious orthodoxy among its newly-created social classes.”
Plot summary of The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Wikipedia). Sound familiar? Published in 1985.
“Ward, June, Beaver and Wally have all moved away to live with Timmy and Lassie.”
Letter to realtor from man shopping for a home in just the right neighborhood:
“One of the most important things I’m looking for is the quality of the neighbors and the neighborhood as much as I am a house. According to your map on the internet, I felt that perhaps these homes were in neighborhoods that are clean, wholesome and safe; with honest christian neighbors with sincere and humble christian values who would be pleasant to live among.
Being retired I wish to live where their is respect, and civility and kindness among the resident population. I wish for the neighborhood to have a refinement and elegance to it, with stable households of quality and good taste. I don’t want to move into a blighted or deteriorating area, nor do I wish to live in an area filled with transient student population where in the neighbors are changing every semeter. I want it to be family oriented that when one might sit on their front porch people go for walks with their families and wave and are ginuinely neighborly.”
Response to realtor from a seller:
“Ask him if he has any other requests. Would he like his neighbors to be of a specific gender or race? What kind of pets would be to his liking, and what about climate? Would occasional rain be acceptable or would he rather it be dry, but with humidity readings in the low 40’s?
Tell him Ward, June, Beaver and Wally have all moved away to live with Timmy and Lassie.”
No, you can’ t make this shit up. Wouldn’t you just love to live next door to this guy?
My momma used to say, “Stupid is as stupid does”
Bill Maher (along with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert) has the knack –and the balls– for saying things I believe but can’t quite put into words. Like, “this is a stupid country.”
“I’m the bad guy for saying it’s a stupid country, yet polls show that a majority of Americans cannot name a single branch of government, or explain what the Bill of Rights is. 24% could not name the country America fought in the Revolutionary War. More than two-thirds of Americans don’t know what’s in Roe v. Wade. Two-thirds don’t know what the Food and Drug Administration does. Some of this stuff you should be able to pick up simply by being alive. You know, like the way the Slumdog kid knew about cricket.
Not here. Nearly half of Americans don’t know that states have two senators and more than half can’t name their congressman. And among Republican governors, only 30% got their wife’s name right on the first try.
Until we admit there are things we don’t know, we can’t even start asking the questions to find out. Until we admit that America can make a mistake, we can’t stop the next one.”
Whew. I feel SO much better.
Twitter spammers: No clue. No pride.
I really hate to think that spammers will be able to destroy Twitter in the same way they’ve destroyed email. Okay, maybe not destroyed but made it a pain in the ass to use. And I haven’t gotten much spam on Twitter but know it’s coming.
Here’s the latest. I know nothing about Shorty Small’s –other than they are clueless– but will, in the unlikely event I find myself in Branson, avoid it and encourage you to do the same.
They search twitter for any reference to “Branson” and then put a little commercial in your Twitter stream. In the example to the right, you’ll notice the business didn’t know (care?) that I was poking fun at Branson. BBQ spam. Yum!
Another Dark Ages?
From remarks by Scott Dikkers, Editor of The Onion. Freedom from Religion Foundation
“We live in an age now that could easily turn into another dark ages. It’s a time when irrational beliefs that run counter to established science are accepted not just by a large percentage of the population but also by our elected leaders.
The religious like to say they’re “saved.” But after eight years of their pick for president, it’s the rest of us who need to be saved.
And the people who voted for this leadership are ready to do it again, because they are ideologues, who are incapable of learning–they reject any factual information that contradicts their beliefs.”
Laptop Etiquette
Dear Ms Manners:
I was chillin’ at the local oxygen bar today when I needed to show my girlfriend something on my MySpace page. One of the regulars had gone to make wee wee so we just scooted over and used his laptop. When he came back he got all pissy about it and took the laptop away from us. I think this was the rudest behavior EVER! You got my back on this one, girl?
Bruised Feelings
Sorry, BF, but it’s the yellow flag for you and your BFF. You don’t go into someone’s home just because the door is unlocked. Even if you know them. You don’t use their car to run down to the Vietnamese Nail Salon, just because the keys are in it. And you don’t use someone’s computer, without asking their permission.
Would you have been upset if you discovered this gentleman going through your lingerie drawer? I mean, you are friends, right?
Ms. Manners
“Like watching Gidget address the Reichstag”
[Alert: McCainiacs and Palinistas can skip this post. You won’t appreciate Matt Taibbi’s biting wit or pithy rage. Go watch a Sean Hannity re-run. And I’ve had some email reminding me I had said I wasn’t going to write about politics anymore. I believe what I said was, I would no longer ‘discuss’ politics.]
My favorite political writer, Matt Taibbi has outdone himself with his column on Sarah Palin. When interstellar archeologists dig through the rubble of what was once the U.S.A. and wonder what the fuck happened, I hope they stumble across Mr. Taibbi’s column. Every line is a gem but I’ll share just a few of my favorites:
“Four-chinned delegates from places like Arkansas and Georgia are pouring joyously out the gates (of the GOP convention) in search of bars where they can load up on Zombies and Scorpion Bowls and other “wild” drinks and extramaritally grope their turkey-necked female companions in bathroom stalls as part of the “unbelievable time” they will inevitably report to their pals back home.
Only 21st-century Americans can pass through a metal detector six times in an hour and still think they’re at a party.
Here’s the thing about Americans. You can send their kids off by the thousands to get their balls blown off in foreign lands for no reason at all, saddle them with billions in debt year after congressional year while they spend their winters cheerfully watching game shows and football, pull the rug out from under their mortgages, and leave them living off their credit cards and their Wal-Mart salaries while you move their jobs to China and Bangalore.
But Americans like politicians who hate books and see the face of Jesus in every tree stump. They like them stupid and mean and ignorant of the rules.”
And we love Sarah.
Moosehunting with Aden Nak
Aden Nak doesn’t understand why it’s taboo to say someone is too dumb to be president. He somehow managed to get his hands on the flow chart used to prep Governor Palin for last night’s debate.
“The truth is that Palin didn’t answer any questions she didn’t want to tonight, and she said she’d do exactly that at the start of the debate. She had a hand full of index cards and a brain full of buzz words, and it was her job to say them all in front of the camera. Actually, it was her job to say them while looking at Joe Biden for five seconds, then looking at the camera for five seconds, and then looking back at Biden to start over again. It was like she was on a timer. One of the many things she’d probably been coached on after the whole flap about McCain not looking Obama in the eyes.”