Omaha man saves own life with self-tracheotomy

File this under: You've Got to Be Shitting Me

"An Omaha man apparently saved his own life by performing an emergency surgery on himself. Fifty-five-year-old Steve Wilder awoke in the middle of the night last week and couldn't breathe. He'd had breathing trouble after a bout with throat cancer several years ago and his windpipe had swollen shut as he slept. Wilder says he knew he only had one option, as an ambulance would never arrive in time, so he gave himself a tracheotomy. He used a steak knife and poked a hole in his throat, which brought a gush of blood -- and a rush of air. He could breathe. He says it didn't hurt. Doctors say it saved Wilder's life but they don't recommend what he did -- call 911 instead." [Radio Iowa - Nebraska Radio Network]

Holy crap. I need help getting a splinter out of my finger.

Comments

[Les Ismore]

If there's anyone that can make a better self-tracheotomy knife, it's this guy. After the gush of blood, I would think that the puncture hole would close up and not allow air to get thru unless there was something holding that puncture hole open, like a straw. ...hmmm...a straw? a knife? Eureka! How about a kinfe with a hollow-tipped point on the end that keeps the airhole open after the puncture is made?
Kind of like the end of a syringe needle but bigger...with a user-friendly tigger handle and depth-cutting gauge for those that just can't bring themselves to poke a hole in their neck, or the neck of the ones they love.

I can hear the radio ad now across small market America..."check us out for all of your self-tracheotomy needs...!"

[klp]

Bic pen. Need I say more?