Presidential Aide: Mr. President, two airliners have been flown into the World Trade Center Towers.
George W. Bush: Those are the big ones in New York, right?
Aide: Yes sir. We think there might be as many as 3,000 dead.
Bush: Who did it?
Aide: We think they were Saudis.
Bush: Damn, I’ve played golf with those guys.
Aide: No sir. These are probably extremists.
Bush: No shit. What are we gonna do about it?
Vice President Cheney: Mr. President, we have to invade Iraq but we need to invade Afghanistan first to make it look good.
Bush: Do we think that prick Saddam had something to do with it?
Cheney: Sir, we don’t know that he didn’t.
Bush: I’d like to nuke that fucker. Does he have nukes or chemical weapons or something.
CIA Director George Tennent: There’s no evidence of that, Mr. President.
Cheney: Take another look.
Tennent: Yes sir.
Cheney: When we invade, I think I can get my friends at Halliburton to pitch in.
[Fast forward. The Liberation of Irag is not going well]
Bush: Goddamn it Rummy, I thought you said this thing would take a few weeks and we’d be greeted as liberators. Everyone going to Camp David with me and the First Lady, take one step forward… not so fast Rummy!
Bush: Karl, we’re in the shit here. What should we do?
Karl Rove: Well, you’re in your final term… just drag the thing out and leave it for the Democrats.
Bush: Can we do that?
Rove: I don’t see why not. We can say things we’re looking good when we left.
Bush: But things look like hell!
Rove: Just wait. They’ll look a lot worse.
Bush: But won’t history show that I screwed the pooch on this?
Rove and Cheney: (Looking at the floor and ceiling respectively)
Cheney: Uh, no sir, Mr. President. All anyone will remember is the Middle East exploded on the Democrats’ watch. Uh, listen guys, I gotta run. I’m going skeet shooting with Scooter.
Update: Just in… a plan for withdrawal.