It probably went something like this…

Presidential Aide: Mr. President, two airliners have been flown into the World Trade Center Towers.

George W. Bush: Those are the big ones in New York, right?

Aide: Yes sir. We think there might be as many as 3,000 dead.

Bush: Who did it?

Aide: We think they were Saudis.

Bush: Damn, I’ve played golf with those guys.

Aide: No sir. These are probably extremists.

Bush: No shit. What are we gonna do about it?

Vice President Cheney: Mr. President, we have to invade Iraq but we need to invade Afghanistan first to make it look good.

Bush: Do we think that prick Saddam had something to do with it?

Cheney: Sir, we don’t know that he didn’t.

Bush: I’d like to nuke that fucker. Does he have nukes or chemical weapons or something.

CIA Director George Tennent:
There’s no evidence of that, Mr. President.

Cheney: Take another look.

Tennent: Yes sir.

Cheney: When we invade, I think I can get my friends at Halliburton to pitch in.

Bush: Cool.

[Fast forward. The Liberation of Irag is not going well]

Bush: Goddamn it Rummy, I thought you said this thing would take a few weeks and we’d be greeted as liberators. Everyone going to Camp David with me and the First Lady, take one step forward… not so fast Rummy!


Bush: Karl, we’re in the shit here. What should we do?

Karl Rove: Well, you’re in your final term… just drag the thing out and leave it for the Democrats.

Bush: Can we do that?

Rove: I don’t see why not. We can say things we’re looking good when we left.

Bush: But things look like hell!

Rove: Just wait. They’ll look a lot worse.

Bush: But won’t history show that I screwed the pooch on this?

Rove and Cheney: (Looking at the floor and ceiling respectively)

Cheney: Uh, no sir, Mr. President. All anyone will remember is the Middle East exploded on the Democrats’ watch. Uh, listen guys, I gotta run. I’m going skeet shooting with Scooter.

Update: Just in… a plan for withdrawal.

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