This makes me want a mobile phone.
“Did you wake up late for work and you want your boss to think you’re caught in traffic? Select the Traffic Jam background and give him a call from your bedroom. He will hear your voice on top of (traffic sfx). Is one of your mates a chronic talker that just doesn’t know when to stop? Use the Phone Ring background and your friend will hear a phone ring 6 times, 15 seconds into the call. Tell him that your other phone is ringing and that you have to go. Pretend you’re at the dentist, in the park, on the street, caught in a thunderstorm, near heavy machinery or at a circus parade.”