The Death Test

I don’t guess there’s really any way to pass the Death Test [dead link]. I’m told I can expect to die on April 7, 2031 at the age of 83. Most likely cause of death: Cancer (18%), followed by Hearth Attack (13%) and Alien Abduction (12%). I’m exactly sure what Auto-Fellatio (9%) is (in a car? by myself?) but it sounds better than cancer.